Snape, Hermione and Growing Up
by Snoozegoof
Summary: A series of fics where Hermione experiences personal growing up moments and Snape is there to help her through them. Awkwardness abound!
1. Snape, Hermione, Potions and Periods

Disclaimer: You all know the drill, it's all JKR's. I wanted to write a story about Snape and Hermione, but didn't want it to be the typical romance/smut. I wanted to portray a trusting relationship in an honest moment of hurt and comfort. Hope I succeeded. Please review! This is my first Harry Potter fic. I apologize if I have misjudged the characters.

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><p>A second year Hermione Granger sat on the rim of a toilet in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, glaring at the streaky stains marking her white cotton panties.<p>

'Oh Gods, Oh Gods', her mind raced. Her hands began to tingle with panic and her eyes welled with tears. Was she sick? Wash she dying? Obviously something had to be wrong if she was bleeding from down there! Her mind whirled through all the possible ailments, all the people she loved who would miss her if she truly were dying. She couldn't die now, she had to help Harry! But who could she tell? Surely the rational thing would be to see Madam Pomfrey. But what if she had to examine her? Hermione shuddered at the thought, far too embarrassed to pursue that option. What of her friends?

'No!' She told herself sternly. She would not worry them as well. Harry and Ron needed to focus on their studies and saving the world, needless to say, they had enough to worry about. Maybe Professor McGonagall? No, as much as Hermione admired the woman, she would have no idea how to begin such a conversation.

She would keep this to herself, do her own research and only tell others when it became absolutely necessary. Resigning herself to worrying about dying later, she took several deep breaths and dried her eyes. Pulling herself together she stuffed a wad of toilet paper in her panties and began to make her way towards class. Dying or not, she would not be late to potions class.

Professor Snape surveyed his classroom with veiled eyes. The dunderheads had been given a simple assignment this afternoon, Snape being too exhausted from a night spent with the Dark Lord to trust himself to supervise anything more hazardous. His eyes scanned the classroom. Draco and Goyle were quietly sniggering at Potter and Weasley as they struggled with their potion. Parkinson and Finnigan looked irritated but reasonably occupied. Granger and Longbotton looked...wrong. Longtbotton was reading the steps of the potion aloud as Granger chopped ingredients.

Any other teacher would not have noticed the slight tremble in Granger's normally steady hands, nor the way her eyes kept darting around the classroom, then down toward her lap. He looked at her eyes once more, they were rimmed slightly red. She had been crying. He wondered briefly if she was still grieving for the loss of her parents, who had been killed in a muggle terrorist attack a year earlier. He mentally reviewed the last few months, recalling her refusal to take a leave of absence, and her stubborn tenacity to keep her grades from falling. But even through those first few months after she had experienced a grave loss, he had never seen evidence of tears or a shakiness of body. Not that he would ever admit to caring, but Snape did indeed watch his students carefully for signs of distress and always reported them to the proper head of house, and even handled a few sniffling students himself on occasion. Those students of course were sworn to secrecy with threats of detention and failing grades, should they ever mention he did in fact have a heart. Snape made a mental note to make McGonagall aware of Granger's distress.

Snape called for his students to begin cleaning up and promptly dismissed them, but not before hearing a small yelp from the back of the classroom. Granger. She had sliced her palm slightly with a chopping knife and was now cradling it by her side. For Granger to be so careless, yes, something was indeed wrong.

"Miss Granger! Stay behind." Barked Snape and produced his usual menacing glare.

"Yes Sir." Hermione called softly. Her usual strong know-it-all voice diminished to barely above a whisper.

Hermione approached Snape's desk hesitantly, unsure of what the punishment would be for her carelessness. Instead, Snape produced a small container from a drawer in his vast desk. He stood and walked toward her, robes billowing behind him.

"Give me your hand, Granger." His voice was a tone softer now, but still terrified the girl.

Hermione wordlessly lifted her wounded hand toward him. He took it in one of his own large ones, almost double the size of hers and with the fingers of his other hand he began to apply the salve from the container he had produced earlier. The ointment eased the sting of the cut and the edges slowly began to mend before Hermione's eyes. Snape waited for the look of wonder that always crossed the young girls face whenever a new form of knowledge was made available to her. But none came. Yes, something was indeed very wrong. Momentarily Snape considered legilimency, but thought better of it. It would guarantee him quick answers, but was not appropriate in this instance. Instead he settled for the avenue which made him most uncomfortable. Talking. Sighing her looked at her. She was now staring at the floor, seemingly lost in her own thoughts.

"Miss Granger, what ails you?" Her head snapped up, her eyes panicked.

"N-Nothing, Sir. I'm fine, just clumsy is all." She stammered in reply. He lowered his gaze in attempt to meet her eyes, but she would not meet his and instead chose to stare at his shoes.

"I do not believe you Miss Granger. And I can assure you my shoes are not so riveting." His voice had softened, clearly there was something deeply troubling the girl.

"Please Sir, I cannot tell you!" She pleaded, her eyes finally meeting his, filled with sorrow and if he was correct in reading them; fear.

"Miss Granger if you are in some form of danger it is imperative that I know." His voice was once again authoritative, but still soft.

Hermione swallowed air quickly. This was Snape. Snape wouldn't care if she was dying would he? Maybe he had a potion that would cure whatever was ailing her. Snape sighed and tried once more.

"Miss Granger, please." And with that tears began sliding down her cheeks. He was startled, but kept his own stony composure, allowing her the time to find the words she was so clearly desperately searching for. Finally she swallowed, stared at his shoes once more and said in the smallest of voices.

"I'm bleeding." Her cheeks were tinged pink and the tears were still flowing. Yes, he had known she cut her hand, but he had not know it had hurt her so badly. Perhaps she had a low pain tolerance.

"Yes Miss Granger, but I've fixed your hand, you should feel no more pain." He stated, now bored with this endeavor. Hermione stifled a sob.

"No Sir, It's not my hand." He looked at her once more, her eyes still downcast.

"Then where is it? And why have you not seen Madam Pomfrey?" He was thoroughly perplexed. Surely a girl as bright and resilient as Granger would know to simply visit the medi-witch and have herself fixed up. She began wiping at her tears, taking deep breaths to calm herself. She began to move away from him. She was retreating. He stepped forward, toward her.

"Miss Granger, where are you bleeding?" He asked softly. She shook her head at him, staring at the stone floor.

"Miss Granger, you will tell me or I will escort you to Madam Pomfrey." At this she yelped and her eyes shot up to meet his, watery and full of fear.

"No, please Sir. I will tell you, but you must swear to tell no one else. _Please._" She managed to choke out. Snape knew it was not wise to agree, but since it was not a binding promise and it would likely lead him to the source of her distress, he agreed.

"You have my word, Miss Granger. I will tell no one." He gestured for her to speak. She drew in shaky breaths and once again turned scarlet.

"I went to the restroom this morning and well...I looked down...and there was...there was...blood Sir. A lot of blood." She stared at her hands, mortified at what she had just admitted. Terrified that she might die, or be so ill that she could not attend school or help Harry.

Understanding dawned on Snape. She was experiencing her first menstrual cycle. She had no mother to explain this to her, and she spent so much of her time buried in books in the library that she had undoubtedly missed her peers conversations on the matter. Hogwarts did not teach sex-ed or health classes, so she would have no basis of understanding for what was happening to her. He sighed. The poor girl must be terrified. After his long silence she grew wary.

"S-Sir, am I dying?" She asked in a choked sob. Snape resisted the urge to both laugh and hold the girl close, an urge to comfort he very rarely experienced for his students.

"Miss Granger, look at me, no, _look_ at me. You are not dying." She met his eyes and he saw pure relief flood through them, then they clouded over once again with confusion. But this time, the girl who asked a million questions, kept all of her inside. It was not Snape's place to explain this, but he knew if he suggested she speak to Madam Pomfrey or Professor McGonagall, she would either run or simply refuse. And she needed to know what was happening. He sighed.

"Miss Granger, do you know what a menstrual cycle is?" Snape prided himself on keeping the color from his cheeks.

"No Sir." She answered, looking at him. Oh Merlin, he was in for it now.

"When a girl hits a certain age her body begins to change." Snape motioned with his hand vaguely toward her. She colored in embarrassment and stared at her shoes. He cleared his throat.

"Between the ages of ten and fourteen a girl will begin to have what is known as a menstrual cycle or a period. You will pass blood, about once a month until you are no longer able to bear children. For the first few months this will be irregular, so it would be wise to carry sanitary supplies with you in your school bag." He stopped to take a breath. She looked up.

"Sanitary supplies, Sir?" She was now scarlet, but relief still coursed through her.

"They are called pads or tampons. Once you are of age in the wizarding world you are allowed to use potions and charms to deal with the blood, but until then muggle methods are used to absorb it. Some women experience very little blood, while others experience more. You said there was a large quantity?" His cheeks colored. At least they were almost through.

"Yes Sir." She whispered. Now thoroughly embarrassed. He recognized this, and despite his own uncomfortably and he felt the need to reassure her.

"Miss Granger, what you are experiencing is completely natural. Please do not be embarrassed. I know I am not the most comforting person to explain this to you, nor the most eloquent, but I am glad you told me." He startled, realizing that this statement was true. Despite the embarrassing circumstances, he was glad she had confided in him.

"T-Thank you Sir. For helping me" She met his eyes briefly and then stared at the floor once more. What else did she not know about the human body. If her mother hadn't gotten around to explaining periods to her, then what else had she missed? Something occurred to him and curiosity got the better of him.

"Miss Granger, are you are aware of...of sex?" His cheeks burned.

"A-a little, Sir. I know you need a man and a woman to have a baby." She brightened at her knowledge, hoping it was impressive. But Snape looked at the floor, clearly discouraged.

"Alright Miss Granger, are you experiencing any abdominal pain?" He questioned, preparing to enlighten her on all the joys of PMS.

" A little Sir. Why?"

"Some women experience what is called pre-menstrual syndrome, it's nothing serious, but it can be uncomfortable, however it is often a good warning sign for when you are about to start your period. Some women feel abdominal cramping, experience acne breakouts, feel an increase in emotional reactivity, have certain food cravings, experience bloating, diarrhea and sometimes vomiting." Hermione paled. Snape hurried on.

"But some women experience none of these symptoms or only experience them very mildly. Now, I think you should go see Madam Pomfrey, tell her you've started your period and need some supplies." Hermione began to protest.

"No Sir, I can't!" He put a hand up.

"Miss Granger menstrual cycles are completely normal. Every girl in Hogwarts who experiences one gets her first supplies from Madam Pomfrey. Then, later on once you know which products you prefer, you may purchase them on weekend trips to Hogsmeade. Alright? Now I think it would be best if you went straight to the infirmary." She was still staring at the ground.

"S-Sir?"

"Yes Miss Granger?"

"Would it be alright, if-if I have more questions...to...to come back?" Snape sighed, but knew if he said no, she would simply bottle up her questions and uncertainties. The golden trio needed her badly, and she needed to be able to focus on helping them and if that meant answering her questions, then so be it.

"Yes, Miss Granger, that would be alright. But I suggest you not let on about this conversation." He knew she wouldn't anyway, she was already mortified enough.

"Thank you Sir." She smiled at him, grabbed her bag and scurried out of the dungeons. Snape sank into the chair at his desk and sighed. A Ravenclaw knocked on his door and entered, Snape stood and slid his steely mask back into place.

"And to what do I owe this horrid surprise?" He seethed.

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><p>The End.<p>

I"m thinking of doing a sequel, maybe Hermione goes to Madam Pomfrey and gets the supplies but then doesn't know how to use them and turns to Snape for help? Or a sequal a few years in the future when Hermione needs to know the truth about sex? Thoughts? Please Review!


	2. Snape, Hermione, Tampons and Pads

Disclaimer/Authors Note: All of it belongs to JKR. Thanks to everyone who reviewed my story. I've decided to begin a series of Father/Daughter, mentor-ish fics wherein Snape guides Hermione through adolescence. This one will be directly related to the last, however the next one will be done at the suggestion of Ana, who wrote me a very nice review. Thanks Ana, would love to have more suggestions!

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><p>Hermione glanced around the infirmary, having stuffed the supplies Madam Pomfrey had given her into her school bag. Madam Pomfrey had asked a few questions, but a tight lipped Hermione had insisted she was fine and simply needed some supplies. Madam Pomfrey sighed and Hermione scurried toward the bathrooms of Gryfindor tower. Once she was safely behind a stall door, she took several deep breaths and unzipped her school bag. From within the bag she pulled out the products Madam Pomfrey had provided her with. Two small boxes, one green and one blue. Hermione eyed them cautiously. Having no idea how to differentiate between the two, she chose the blue one simply because she liked the color better. From within the small box she pulled what appeared to be a tube wrapped in white paper. Hermione undid her school robes and unzipped her pants, she sat on the edge of the toilet seat and once again stared a the blood that had now soaked through the toilet paper she had wadded there. She sighed. It had been a long and terribly embarrassing day. Her cheeks burned as she recalled her Professor explaining such a private matter to her, but more so her cheeks burned in embarrassment at her lack of knowledge. Hermione threw the wadded toilet paper down the toilet, and stared at the tube rolled in paper. As she looked at it, panic again began to course through her. She didn't know what to do . She didn't know how to use it. Tears stung her eyes for the millionth time that day. Tears of fear and inadequacy. Hermione sniffled quietly, allowing one small sob to escape her lips before she bit it back.<p>

Professor Snape walked brusquely through the corridors, his evening rounds almost complete. His mind still set on the Granger girl and their earlier encounter. He had not seen her in the Great Hall for supper and had been concerned, but reasoned with himself that she was probably simply conferencing with Madam Pomfrey or getting some well deserved rest. He sighed and turned to the last corridor on his rounds. Ears attuned, as always for small indications of students out beyond curfew. He stopped abruptly before the girls restroom door, having heard a small but distinct sob.

'Oh Merlin, another girl sobbing over some tryst with a friend or a lost love' Snape rolled his eyes. Nonetheless it was his duty to ensure all students were in their towers after curfew. He inwardly shuddered at the impropriety of entering the women's restroom, but in fact all faculty were allowed in every room of the castle so long as circumstance provided valid reason. He sighed and pushed the door open. The sniffling stopped immediately and he saw a pair of black mary draw up from the floor. Obviously the culprit did not wish to be discovered. Snape's mood darkened.

"Show yourself." He growled. Hermione gasped. She had expected an older female prefect of maybe even Filch, but certainly not Professsor Snape. The few moments of surprise she allowed herself only made him more irritated.

"I will not repeat it again. Show yourself or double detention will be served." He barked. Hermione startled out of her reverie, drew in a shaky breath and stepped out of the stall. Snape almost balked. Miss Granger, in the restroom at an ungodly hour, cheeks wet with tears. He could only assume she was still absorbing the shock of what was happening to her body. But he had to follow formality. With his sternest voice he questioned:

"Miss Granger, why are you out of your tower past curfew?" For the millionth time that day, she stared at his shoes.

"I needed to use the restroom, Sir." She answered, her voice quavering. He glared at her.

"Miss Granger, there are restrooms in your tower, and you are still wearing your school robes, which leads me to believe you have yet to make it to your tower this evening." He forced her to meet his eyes. He was startled by the embarrassment, and the...desperation he saw there. Surely a simple menstrual cycle was not this upsetting! He sighed, still somewhat confused.

"Miss Granger, did you visit Madam Pomfrey?" He questioned, wondering if the girl's all pervasive embarrassment had kept her from visiting the medi-witch. She looked down once more and nodded her head. He rolled his eyes.

"Then what pray tell, has you whimpering in a restroom well past curfew?" He drawled. A tear ran down her cheek and she wiped at it angrily, clearly embarrassed by her own display of emotion. He immediately regretted calling her on it. If she was ever going to tell him what was the matter this time, he could not insult her.

"Miss Granger?" He questioned more softly.

"I-I don't know how, Sir." She stated so softly he had to lean forward to catch her words. Snape was utterly confused. A feeling that greatly unnerved the spy.

"Don't know how?" He questioned, leaning against the sink in the restroom, gazing at her. She was once again scarlet and looked shaken.

"I don't-I don't know how to use them Sir." She sniffled.

"Don't know how to use what Miss Granger?" She looked at her feet once more, her lip quivering. She wrung her hands and turned abruptly back into the stall. He stood up straight, preparing to stop her if she ran. But when she turned back to him, holding a small box in her hands, he was thoroughly perplexed. She looked at the box in her hands, and then to him, then to her feet.

"I don't know how to use these Sir." She explained in a small voice. He held his hand out for the box, wanting to examine for himself the cause of her distress. Her hands quavered momentarily before she handed over the blue box. Snape nodded his head at her and then bent it to examine the blue item. He read the label, but it meant nothing to him. He reached his hand inside the box and pulled out a long thin tube wrapped in white paper. Oh. _Oh. _Snape turned scarlet. He cleared his throat.

"Madam Pomfrey did not explain the...use to you?" He questioned her.

"No. I told her it was not my first time. That I had simply run out of...supplies." Of course. She had not wanted to seem naïve or unknowledgeable, the damn know-it-all, so she had lied and left with products she had no idea how to use. Severus sighed. Poppy had given her tampons, assuming that she was experienced enough to use them. He knew from vague knowledge that tampons were not usually used for a girls first menstrual cycle, as they were more complicated than pads. He reached inside the box once more, pulling out the small folded piece of paper within. He had spotted the paper when he had first opened the box, but until now had not thought much of it. Hermione waited a moment, then drew back into the stall once more and produced a second box. Snape looked up from reading the folded paper. It did indeed hold instruction as to how to use the tampons, however Snape was unsure whether or not the girl should in fact use them for her first period. For one fleeting moment Severus Snape actually wished he was a woman, so he would know how to help her. Hermione looked at him.

"She also gave me this one too." She handed him the box. He examined the larger green item. He opened the lid and to his relief, encased within the box were indeed sanitary pads. He sighed.

"You should use these Miss Granger." He stated, handing her back the box. She looked at the box, then at him. Nodding her head slowly. Then it dawned on him. She didn't know how to use pads either. _Shit, Shit, Shit!_ This was a job for Poppy or Minerva, hell even Dumbledore would be better at this than himself! Hermione noticed his discomfort and began to withdraw.

"It's alright Sir, I'm sure I'll figure it out, Thank you Sir, I'll just go back to my dorm now." She tried to keep the quaver from her voice. If he didn't help her, she would turn to no one else. He closed his eyes briefly, then opened them and put his arm out.

"Miss Granger, wait." His voice was tired.

"Yes, Sir?" Her voice was small. All of a sudden she felt the enormity of the day hitting her. Very rarely did Hermione allow her mind to travel to the death of her parents. She grieved them of course, but actively kept her mind occupied, to keep from dwelling upon how much she missed them. But at this moment all she wanted was her mother. Her mother to hold her and explain this to her and tell her it would be okay. But she would never admit this to him. Although, she didn't have to. Snape had promised himself that he would not use legilimens on her earlier that day, but he had felt it necessary to know how much she knew about the use of sanitary napkins before explaining their use to her. He did not wish to be exposed to that conversation any longer than was necessary, but he also wanted to ensure that she was fully informed. However briefly he was in her mind, he still felt the enormous sense of want, fear, loss and confusion. He held the sink to keep from staggering. She was hurting. She was scared and she was hurting and she was menstruating. _Holy Merlin. _Severus felt his shoulder sag. She needed him. He allowed his eyes to travel to her downcast ones.

"Hermione?" He questioned softly. Her head reared up at the use of her first name. She looked at him questioningly. He opened the green box and handed her a pad. She took it, fingers trembling slightly. He took a deep breath, drawing on his own partial med-witch training he began to explain:

"You unfold it and tear off the plastic wrapper. One side will be layered in adhesive material, place that side down on your...undergarments. The other side will most likely be a soft material. It may take some time to get used to, but in time you will. You will need to change the pad every few hours. The tampons you will learn to use later." He stopped to look at her, absorbing the information, again staring at the ground. She began to fiddle with the pad in her hands, chewing on her lower lip.

"Hermione, would you like me to leave while you try it?" He asked softly. He did not need to be in her mind to know that she was anxious and embarrassed. She nodded, but then held up her hand.

"Sir will you, could you w-wait outside the door?" She asked quietly. But what she was not saying was written on her face 'I don't want to be alone, I don't know what I'm doing'.

"Of course." He walked to the exterior door and opened it.

"Sir?" She called quietly. He turned.

"Yes?"

"Thank you." She stated, eyes brimming slightly with unshed tears, and walked into the stall. He sighed and closed the women's restroom door and leaned against the wall. _Merlin help all adolescent girls. _

A few moments later the door creaked open gently, revealing a very exhausted, but very relieved Hermione. Snape stood up straight, looking at her, meeting her eyes. She simply nodded at him and he let the corners of his lips curl in understanding. He lifted his hand to her shoulder and gave slight squeeze. It wasn't her mother holding her, but it was the best he could do. He escorted her to her tower.

"Goodnight Professor." She stated quietly.

"Goodnight Hermione."

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><p>Please Review! Suggestions for new scenarios would be awesome as well!<p> 


	3. Hermione, Snape and SexEd

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JKR. You probably want to read my other two fics "Hermione, Snape, Potions and Periods" and "Hermione, Snape, Tampons and Pads" prior to this, it will all make a bit more sense. This fic is set a bit further in the future, maybe about fourth year. I would still really like suggestions from people on Snape/Hermione father daughterish fic ideas. I have some other plots in mind that would technically take place before this one, but for whatever reason this one was badgering me to write it! Please review/suggest.

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><p>Hermione sat in the astronomy tower with her knees pulled to her chest. Her recent encounter with Victor whirling through her mind on repeat. She stifled a groan and rested her head on her knees.<p>

Severus Snape made his way up the winding steps to the astronomy tower. Though he preferred the dungeons, the tower was a good place to clear his head and simply breathe. As he reached the top landing he quickly realized he was not the only occupant of the tower this evening. A small form sat curled on a bench to his left, thus far unaware of his presence. The distinct bushy hair told him immediately that it was Granger. He squelched the urge to reprimand her for being out of her tower past curfew. She looked distressed and he knew from past experience if reprimanded she would simply bury the distress and carry on without resolution. Despite himself he had grown quite fond of the girl in the past years and found himself wishing to aid her. Chalking it up to being his duty as a teacher, he coughed gently to make her aware of his presence. She jumped slightly and her head reared up. She stood abruptly and began stuttering an apology.

"Sorry Sir, I'll go back to my tower now Sir, I just -" She rushed. He put up a hand to silence her and she began to fiddle with her fingers.

"I trust you have an acceptable reason Granger. Sit." He gestured with his hand to the bench she had previously occupied. He then waved his hand at the bench opposite it.

"I will however infringe upon your isolation." He sat. She nodded gently and then studied the ground. After a few moments of silence she allowed her elbows to rest on her knees and her head to fall into her hands. After allowing a few more moments of silence it became clear to Snape that she wouldn't simply come forth of her own will with what was clearly troubling her. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and folding his hands in front of him.

"Miss Granger, you are troubled. What is it?" He asked softly. She looked up at him and smiled half-heartedly.

"I'm alright Sir. Thank you. I just needed the fresh hair. Lavender likes to burn incense and it gives me a headache." She once again placed her head in her hands. He had no doubt her headache did not originate from incense, but instead from whatever was troubling her. Hermione liked her professor and remembered vividly the instances when he had helped her despite the uncomfortable situations. She would like nothing more than a confidante right now, but she wouldn't even know what to say, she was so confused. Victor had seemed angry and then had laughed at her when she questioned the tent in his pants after a particularly long snogging session. The first two emotions she could deal with. It was being laughed at that made her hurt, and his lack of explanation as to the pants tent made her confused, which made her feel inadequate which made her feel frustrated. She shuddered a sigh. She didn't mind snogging him. It had been awkward at first, but she had gotten the hang of it fairly quickly. But then things started changing. Victor started to stick his tongue in her mouth and slide his hands up and down her sides. A rush of feelings she could not categorize had rushed through her and then she had questioned the bulge in his trousers. He had laughed at her, gotten up, adjusted his pants and went to dinner in the Great Hall. She had stayed in her dorm, claiming to have an upset stomach, which was not far from the truth. Hours later she found herself seated at the top of the astronomy tower in the company of her typically snarky professor. Snape studied her with his eyes.

"Miss Granger if it is a headache that ails you, I'm certain Madam Pomfrey would be more than willing to provide you with a pain potion." He said, knowing he would need to push gently if he was going to glean any information. Hermione sighed.

"It isn't that type of headache Sir."

"I thought as much." They remained silent for several moments, Snape staring at her until she finally lifted her head to meet his eyes. He lifted an eyebrow in a silent invitation to talk. His eyes were dark but soft. Finally, the distress and thirst for answers won out. She began her narrative so quietly he had to lean forward even more to catch her words. She wishes more than anything that she had a female friend to talk to. Harry and Ron were amazing friends, but Victor was a boy, and Harry and Ron were also boys. What if they laughed too? What if it was something she didn't know but should?

"Victor laughed at me Sir." He was confused, Granger was the target of many jokes and pranks, surely simply being laughed at would not put her in this state.

"And why was Mr. Krum laughing at you?" He mentally prepared himself for a game of twenty questions. Hermione looked at her hands. How to explain it?

"We were...kissing Sir." She blushed. Although Snape had been the one to guide her through a most private time in a young woman's life, she was still uncomfortable with the idea of talking to him about her personal life. Snape's cheeks had colored slightly, but he kept his overall steely composure. He wondered if perhaps Krum had laughed at Granger's inexperience.

"Mr. Krum laughed at you because of your kissing?" He asked gently, knowing she was probably embarrassed. He momentarily questioned why he cared about her discomfort, or for that matter why he hadn't simply docked house points and sent her to her dorm. She looked up, brow furrowed.

"No. He seems very happy when we kiss. But tonight he kept sticking his tongue in my mouth and when I asked about his trousers, he laughed at me." She rushed through without breathing, simply needing to get it out in words. Snape tried his best to ignore the tongue comment. His fists clenched for some unidentifiable reason. His trousers? Snape hadn't noticed Krum's attire, but apparently they had caused Hermione distress.

"His trousers?" He pressed on. Somewhat perplexed.

"It looked like-like a tent or lean-to of some sort was inside. When I asked about it he...he laughed." She dwindled off. Snape processed the new facts: Krum had gotten an erection, Hermione didn't know what an erection was, Krum had laughed, Hermione felt foolish. Snape understood her need to know everything. It was her defense mechanism. Much like his own. She was currently reeling without that coping mechanism. Next came the rush of all pervasive embarrassment. He knew full well he was the only one she would ever repeat the tale to. He also knew full well that because of that previous fact, he was the only one she would trust to explain this to her, to make her feel comfortable enough to ask questions. _Holy Merlin_. Watching carefully to make sure her head was still bent down, he pinched the bridge of his nose. He allowed himself for a moment, to travel back to his own adolescence, orphaned himself, he had lacked guidance when it came to these issues as well. Until Dumbledore called a fifteen year old Severus to accompany him on a walk around the castle grounds. Severus's face flushed at that memory. Dumbledore had calmly and thoroughly explained all that had eluded the young Severus and answered all the questions that followed. _Poor old man_. Severus now fully understood the burden of having to explain an intimate adult world to a young person. A young _girl. _The rational part of his mind screamed at him to get Minerva or Poppy to explain the facts of life to the poor girl, but he knew she wouldn't trust them. She would withdraw. She might even actually run. He was pulled abruptly from his thoughts when Hermione stood. He had been silent for too long, making her edgy. Now she was skittish and just wanted to leave.

"Professor I think it's time I go back -" She began. He stood also and held up his hand.

"Hermione wait." _Shit, Shit, Shit!_

"Yes, Sir?" She sounded exhausted. Perhaps now was not the best time for this conversation. But it had to be done. Or at the very least it had to be started.

"Mr. Krum had what is referred to as an erection." He fought the color from rising in his cheeks. He knew that handing her a bit of information would only make her more curious and she would subsequently stay to hear more. She sat back down, her eyebrows quirked. He sat as well and leaned forward slightly. His lips pursed.

"Men have erections when they become sexually excited. Blood rushes to the penis making it hard. This is what allows for sexual intercourse." He took a breath, now bright red, his own eyes pinned to the ground.

"Oh." She was clearly processing this information.

"So Victor wanted to have sex with me?" Her voice began to become shrill.

"But...but everyone says my hair is hideous and I have buck teeth and...and I'm only fifteen Sir. I can't have a baby at fifteen!" She stood up too quickly, and became light headed. Snape was up immediately, guiding her toward the bench he had been sitting on. Once she was seated, he took the place next to her.

"Hermione sex does not exclusively produce babies. You are correct in that it often does, but often times people engage in it for pleasure, not offspring." She was shaking her head.

"But Sir, it sounds so painful, at least from what I've heard in the dorm. How could people possibly want to do it unless there was some pleasant end result?" Snape pinched the bridge of his nose. But knew if he avoided answering her question, she would squelch all others and retreat into herself. He sighed. Best to be frank.

"Often times sexual relations do provide a pleasant end result. It is called an orgasm. Both men and women can experience them. The body responds to the pleasure of being...touched intimately. It provides a type of euphoric release. To avoid the conception of a child when engaging in sex, the couple must take contraceptive measures, such as a potion, charm or muggle products like condoms or birth control pills." Hermione had once again averted her gaze to the floor, sensing he was uncomfortable. Snape felt a pang of pity for the girl. She had little information, and only associated with a few male friends. She did not trust many people and therefor would not go to one of the other staff members more qualified than himself to assist her. At least in his adolescence, Dumbledore had been of the same gender, easing the tension and embarrassment, if only slightly. Here was Hermione, having to hear about sex from a middle aged man with little experience himself. Hermione stood, steadier this time. Her face flushed with embarrassment. Clearly this was a topic she should not be discussing with her male professor. The confusion was clouding her brain and making her eyes watery. She needed to get away from him and find a place to piece together what he had just revealed to her.

"Thank you Sir. I'm sorry I infringed on your time. I'll be going now -" She was running. He knew she was running. She was confused, and had just been bombarded with information. He stood as well, blocking her way.

"Miss Granger, stop." The tears were forming in her eyes. She was feeling the all too familiar pang of wanting her mother, yet she refused to cry in front of him again.

"Please Sir.." Her voice quavered. _No Hermione, you are not a little girl who needs her mommy. Grow up. _The voice in her head berated her, only furthering her distress and need to get away from Snape. Her mind was whirling. Victor had gotten an erection. He wanted to have sex with her. She didn't know how. She didn't know what to do, what to expect. Would she have an orgasm? What would it feel like? How was she supposed to obtain a contraceptive? And she couldn't bring herself to ask Snape. She worried about pushing his patience too far. What if he revealed her lack of knowledge to others? She paled and grew light headed once more. Snape was also reeling. The moment she had begun to run, he had entered her mind, needing to know what he had said to cause such obvious distress. The torrent of confusion that he encountered there baffled him. The poor girl was drowning in her own questions, feeling completely inadequate and clearly angry with herself and ashamed of their conversation. No matter what he said right now, he knew he could be of no help. He stepped aside and let her run down the stairs and away from the tower. He sighed and began descending as well, swiftly making his way to the headmasters office. Finding himself in front of two large gargoyles, he abruptly realized he had not truly been paying attention to where he was going. Muttering the password he entered the headmaster's office.

"Severus?" The old man looked up from his desk. Snape rarely entered this office unless he was summoned or there was an emergency. Despite the late hour Snape had no doubt the headmaster would still be awake, attending to whatever the hell needed to be attended to. Snape began to pace. Dumbledore watched, his eyes calculating but an amused expression plastered upon his face.

"And to what do I owe this surprise company?" He asked gently. Knowing the man was agitated.

"I need your advice Sir. I believe I have made a mistake." Severus paced faster. Dumbledore rested his elbows on his desk and leaned forward. He waited patiently for Severus to continue.

"Hermione Granger, Sir. This evening I found her at the top of the astronomy tower, distressed. It became clear that she was distressed due to an encounter with a peer and her lack of knowledge was ailing her." Snape stopped to take a breath. He dropped into a nearby chair and stared at his hands.

"Sir do you remember many years ago, a walk we took around the castle grounds. You explained to me things that a father would have?" Dumbledore nodded.

"Yes I remember quite fondly, one of the few times I have ever seen you look truly confused Severus. You needed to know what was happening to your body and what to expect as you became a young man. I do in fact remember. But why do you bring it up?" Dumbledore's brow was furrowed. Surely at his age Severus did not need another such conversation. Even if he did he would surely turn to books instead. No, this must be about something else. He waited for Severus to continue.

"Two years ago I aided Miss Granger in a personal matter, but we agreed to keep it to ourselves, there being no harm in it. She simply needed information which she lacked due to the death of her mother and little peer contact." He allowed Dumbledore to infer the rest, which of course he did swiftly.

"You were right to explain things to her Severus, I doubt she would have gone to anyone else. The poor chid must have been horribly embarrassed, and scared I would imagine." Snape nodded his head. Glad that the headmaster did not admonish him for aiding Miss Granger.

"This evening she also was distressed over lack of information, which I provided regarding...similar personal matters." Snape blushed.

"You can say sex Severus, I won't hold it against you. We're both adults." Dumbledore attempted to lighten the mood. It did little however.

"I fear I have only furthered her distress Sir. She fled from the tower after my explanation. I wish to know how to proceed. I would have gone to Minerva, but I know she would confront the girl and..." Severus dwindled off, not wanting to admit how much he treasured the fact that Hermione trusted him, and not wanting to betray that trust. Dumbledore smiled knowingly.

"I believe you will find Miss Granger in the sixth floor restroom. I would advise comfort Severus. Allow her the time to form her questions, then answer them. Reassure her. She clearly trusts you above all else. Have a little faith in yourself boy. Now go." Severus nodded, taking a moment to compose himself. He stood.

"Thank you Headmaster."

"Always, my boy."

Snape strode out of the office and up the stairs toward the sixth floor. Trying his best to prepare himself for the task ahead. He could be a spy for two of the most powerful wizards of all time, but could he console a teenage girl?

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><p>AN: Suggestions welcome! Wanted to make it all one chapter, but I felt like I needed to post this. Sorry for the cliffhanger. Please Review! Also, if you haven't read the other fics, reading those would probably make this make more sense!<p> 


	4. Hermione, Snape and More Sex Ed

Disclaimer: It all belongs to JKR. So, this is the follow up to the last chapter, it picks up right where the last one left off. However, I would like to take it further than this, but am having horrible writers block. But then again, maybe it's meant to end here. Anyway, please tell me what you think and please suggest new avenues/places for me to go with this line of fics.

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><p>Snape paused in front of the women's sixth floor restroom. He pressed his ear to the door only to hear stifled sobs that wrenched his gut. He had caused her more distress than when he had found her. Maybe the full moon was effecting him, but he truly felt empathy for the girl this evening. Drawing a deep breath, he entered the restroom. She sat against the far wall upon a stone window seat, next to a large ornate window that overlooked the black lake. Suddenly he realized why she had chosen this place to be alone. It was secluded, no one ever walked up six flights of opinionated stairs to use the restroom, and the view was spectacular. She was unaware of his presence in the room, tears falling from her cheeks, dropping onto her knees which were drawn to her chest. She was staring out the window at the lake, crying. He didn't wish to startle her, but knew that she had to be made aware of his presence first, if he were to be of any help.<p>

"Miss Granger?" He questioned softly.

She jumped slightly at the intrusion, but did not move her head to look at him. Instead she responded.

"I will serve detention Sir, as many as you like, but please don't make me go to my dorm just yet." Her voice quavered, but she did not stammer. He moved toward her, sitting down on the window seat, her back toward him.

"Miss Granger I am not here to assign detention." She sniffled and hiccuped on sobs. Her attempt to squelch her crying only making it hard for her to breathe. His heart clenched. She didn't want him to see her cry, to see her anything but her know-it-all, always in control self. Her breathing was becoming more and more rapid. He moved forward, placing a hand on her back.

"Place your head between your knees Miss Granger, it will calm your breathing." His hand was warm on her back.

"Are you aware Miss Granger that there is no law against crying?" He asked gently, trying to make her feel at least marginally more comfortable. She choked on a laugh. Her sobbing had quieted to small whimpers. She sat up and once again stared out the window.

"I apologize Sir. You have had to see me through several dilemmas that were not your responsibility to see me through. I am sorry if I have burdened you or wasted your time." Her voice was quiet but steady. She was withdrawing and shutting him out. But he didn't want to be shut out, no matter how sticky it got.

"Miss Granger your apology is unnecessary. You have not burdened me, nor have you wasted my time. I fear I have caused you distress and for that I apologize. It was not my intent." Her brow furrowed but she continued to stare at the lake. Snape did not know what prompted him to begin telling her such a personal story, but suddenly he found his baritone voice speaking quietly to her.

"When I was in my fourth year, I was summoned by the Headmaster to take a walk around the castle ground and around the Black lake. I did not have parents by the time I reached Hogwarts, and as such I had no father to explain to me the changes I was experiencing. The Headmaster explained, much more eloquently and thoroughly than I did, a very complicated part of the adult world. He allowed me to ask the questions that had plagued me and provided me with honest answers. I would...I wish to provide the same for you." He ended softly. Surprised at his words as well as how deeply he was assured of their honesty. He watched her reflection in the window as her face registered surprise, then relief, then fear and then something he couldn't place, it looked almost like what he imagined trust to. But the fear worried him. He waited and hoped she would voice it.

"Are you going to tell Madam Pomfrey to talk to me?" Her voice was once again shaky.

"Not unless you wish me to." He answered promptly. She shook her head violently, tears once again falling.

"Miss Granger, I promise you this conversation will remain between us." At this he once again saw relief reflected in the window. He removed his hand from her back, not realizing how long it had lingered there. He leaned his shoulder against the stone wall.

"Do you have any questions?" He asked gently. Knowing she must, he had been inside her jumbled mind afterall, and seen the chaos and confusion there. She sniffled gently for a few more moments. He allowed Dumbledore's words to repeat like a mantra in his mind _Allow her the time to form her questions, then answer them. Reassure her._ He would do just that, if only he knew how. Finally her voice reached him in what was barely above a whisper.

"Does it hurt?" He sighed. Brought his own knees up toward his chest and steepled his fingers upon his knees.

"Sometimes for the woman the first time is painful. Usually the first time a thin layer of tissue called the hymen must be breached during penetration. Also, sometimes depending upon the degree of arousal, there is not enough lubrication and the woman feels some chafing." His cheeks burned.

"Penetration, Sir?" She voiced softly. A look of confusion greeted him in the window pane.

"When a man's penis enters a woman's vagina, it is called penetration." Her face suddenly looked pained.

"Oh."

"Miss Granger it does not have to be painful, there are lubricants to help if a woman feels chafing and a pain potion can be taken after the first penetration." He tried desperately to reassure her. Her face had relaxed slightly at this but she still looked uncomfortable.

"Sir?" She asked quietly.

"Yes Miss Granger?"

"Do you have to be n-naked to have sex?" Fear clouded her face. Of course, she was self conscience. He remembered vividly being ashamed of his body at her age. Uncomfortable with its rapid changes and odd behaviors.

"Often that is how it is done, but it is not necessary, no." She looked almost relieved. There were several moments of silence. Snape would not have defined them as uncomfortable, but as something between awkward companionship and confused pause. Finally, she spoke once more.

"Do people always have orgasms when they have sex?" He pursed his lips.

"No." He answered shortly. She noticed his rapid change in tone and pulled her knees closer to her chest, regretting the question. He of course noticed her withdrawal and regretted immediately his bisque tone. She needed information and reassurance, not his own bitterness.

"Orgasms are very complicated Miss Granger. They are entirely unique to each person. Therefor for a couple to both achieve an orgasm it is usually best if they take time to know each other's bodies. Men are more apt to achieve an orgasm than women are. It helps if the woman is aware of what pleases her."

He watched her process this information. This was so far beyond his comfort level, his cheeks were on fire. He watched her form her next question, then squelch it. He wanted to know what she was thinking, but he wasn't going to push, nor was he going to invade her mind again. _Allow her the time to form her questions, then answer them. Reassure her. _He was trying like hell to guide a confused teenage girl through something he himself barely understood. She leaned heavily against the glass window pain. He could no longer see her face, read her emotions, and it scared him. Now he just had to wait. It was long minutes before she spoke again.

"Is it scary?" Barely a whisper, but his ears caught it. This time it was his heart and not his stomach that clenched. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the stone wall.

"Yes, Miss Granger, it is." She let out a shuddered breath. He swallowed thickly.

"Being so close to someone, sharing every part of you, being vulnerable, the possibility of losing control in front of them, the possibility of creating a life with another person, creating an experience. It's terrifying." He voice was quiet but steady. His chest ached and his rational mind screamed to run. But he stayed seated on that stone window seat next to her.

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><p>Thoughts and suggestions please!<p> 


	5. Hermione, Snape and First Times

Hey guys. Thanks so much for you reviews and suggestions! This is a two, possibly three part section. I would still love feedback and suggestions on where to go with it. Anywho, hope you enjoy. Please give me your input!

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><p>Hermione wasn't entirely certain why she was standing in front of the potions classroom door at three am. She hadn't expected the numbness she had felt after sleeping with Ron, nor had she expected the sudden torrent of delayed emotion she was now feeling. Ron had been gentle and kind, they had both been anxious and the experience was entirely awkward. And yet as quick and simple as it had seemed, she now felt her head swimming and her eyes watering. She needed comfort and so, when she had tried unsuccessfully for hours to sleep, she had gotten dressed and allowed her feet to take her wherever they wanter, her mind most certainly elsewhere. And now here she was, outside the potions classroom. Professor Snape. Comfort. Oh.<p>

Snape had guided her through several awkward and uncomfortable situations, and though it had been nearly a year since their last deeply personal conversation, he was still the one she trusted most. She would have liked to have had a best girlfriend to go to, to confide in, maybe even cry a little. She could talk to Ginny, afterall they had developed a nice friendship over the past year. But Ginny was Ron's sister. It would be entirely too weird for Hermione to talk about having sex with Ron with his little sister. So here she was, shivering in front of the potions classroom, attempting to work up the nerve to knock. She shook her head at her foolishness. This was not something she should be going to her male teacher for. She leaned against the wall and allowed herself to slide down it, landing her in a sitting position.

Snape had just returned from a particularly long session with The Dark Lord and had decided a walk was in order to clear his head and loosen his joints. He had walked the castle grounds for a good hour before he began to return to his rooms. He opted for the long route back to his quarters, via his classroom as opposed to the shortcut through the suit of armor in one of the corridors. Immediately as he entered the dungeons he felt he presence of another. His wand up his sleeve he advanced silently. What he found instead of an opponent or death eater, was a fifth year Hermione Granger seated with her knees to her chest in front of his classroom. Apart from classes and study hall he rarely saw her these days. While he was surprised to see her, part of him felt glad...a part he quickly squashed. She looked exhausted and wired at the same time. He knew that look. He had seen in before in their more personal encounters. Snape sighed, it was beginning to feel like he was in for an even longer night.

Hermione had not heard Snape's approach, as he was incredibly experienced with stealth. He cleared his throat to gain her attention. Her head reared up and she began to stand, muttering apologies.

"I'm sorry Mr. Filch, I'll go back to my dorm now, I'll take detention, I'm very sorry..." She was staring at her toes, clearly waiting to be admonished.

"Miss Granger I assure you you would have smelled Mr. Filch long before he arrived." Snape leaned against a nearby wall, and began to appraise the young girl. Once she was fully on her feet she looked straight at him. What he saw in her eyes confused him. It was relief. Relief at seeing him as opposed to Filch. With most students it was the other way around. Most students even wished for Filch over Snape as the administer of detention. But Hermione Granger was relieved to see him. He quickly realized he had been staring at her for too long and averted his gaze. He had long since stopped trying to intimated the girl. After the moments he had guided her through, he knew he would never be able to glare at her and make her truly frightened. He did his best to keep up appearances in the classroom, but both knew he never truly meant to hurt or frighten her with his demeanor. He also knew that on occasion she did wander the corridors at night, but never before had she stopped to linger outside his classroom. _Well screw sleeping. _He looked at her once more, then raised his wand to lift the wards placed around the classroom and his office.

He motioned his head to her and she looked at him uncomprehendingly.

"You need to talk about something. You would not be here otherwise. If it were insignificant or perhaps about academics you would have waited until a more decent hour, which leads me to believe it is important. Come in." His voice held its usual authoritative undertone, but it also held the warmth he had come to associate with guiding her through the rough moments of her adolescence.

Hermione nodded, her eyes once again watery. He hadn't yelled at her or rejected her. He hadn't made her go back to her dorm room to process this alone. Instead he had offered possible comfort, reassure and advice, but if nothing else he had offered a listening ear. She nodded tearfully at him and walked into the classroom. He walked in behind her, lifting his wand to close and ward the classroom door. Hermione stopped and stood in the middle of the classroom, clearly unsure as to what to do next. Snape had considered taking her into his private office, but the part of his mind that knew her well, and could empathize with her need for control and understanding, knew she would feel more comfortable in an academic setting. He began to walk toward his desk at the front of the classroom, but stopped abruptly, she did not need authority now. She needed him. Not her potions professor. Just him. So he perched himself atop one of the tables in the classroom, motioning for her to do the same. While he could easily place himself atop one of the tables, she did not have his long legs and tall stature, so she leveraged herself with her arms and pulled herself onto it. His lip curled upward, but he schooled it before she turned to face him.

Hermione looked briefly at her potions professor, he was seated atop one of the potions tables, as she herself now was. The absurdity of the moment hit her full force, and escaped as a kind of strangled half laugh half sob. Here she was, sitting atop a potions table at three am, across from her middle aged male potions professor, about to tell him that she had lost her virginity and was terrified. _Holy Merlin. _

Snape had heard the bizarre noise escape her lips. He recognized it immediately as fear mixed with other things he could not identify. He stifled the urge to stand and comfort her, an urge that was rare to him in relation to his students. Yet somehow she was different. Instead he stayed seated, waiting for her to begin to tell him why they were both here at such an early hour. She was toying with her hands in her lap. She was nervous. And the pink stain on her cheeks lead him to believe she was also embarrassed. He briefly wondered why she would be embarrassed, given the deeply personal situations he had guided her through in the past. Perhaps this was worse. He then began to ponder what could be worse than having your first menstrual cycle and sex-ed explained by your middle aged male teacher. His curiosity got the better of him.

"Miss Granger?" He questioned gently, her eyes raised to meet his and her shoulders dropped in relief. This was him. She could talk to him.

"I uh...well...we...I..." She stammered. Not at all sure how to explain what had happened, nor what she was feeling.

"I understand your need for colorful adjectives in essays Miss Granger, however now I feel simple bluntness may be the best route." He guided softly. She nodded, again staring at her hands. She took several deep breaths and then...

"I had sex, Sir." And then the tears came. The ones she had been holding back for hours. The tears of confusion and shock and fear and excitement and longing for someone to be attracted to her and when it finally happened she wasn't ready for it. Those tears came in torrents down her cheeks and landed in her lap.

Snape could not help his mouth from gaping. He had some suspicions that this would be her omission, he was a spy afterall. Yet he could not help the overwhelming sense of anger he felt at whichever wizard had been intensive enough to not help her process the aftermath of a first experience, or who didn't wait until she was ready for such an experience. And then a terrifying thought hit him.

"Miss Granger, was it consensual?" _Please, please._ Not that he wanted her to be having sex, but he would not be able to stand the idea that someone had violated her. He could not stand the idea that she had gone through the same horrors that he had. His jaw was clenched tightly. Her head reared up. Hermione was an incredibly smart young woman. Who read people just as well as books. What she saw in her professor made her heart jump and an unexplained warmth flooded her chest, overtaking the cold fear and unexplained turmoil that had been there just moments before. He looked frightened. For her. He looked concerned. For her. He looked, well loving wasn't quite the word, but certainly caring. For her.

"Yes, Sir. It was consensual." She assured him, and watched some of the fear leave his eyes. Snape regathered himself and cleared his throat. _This is a new one. Merlin._ Concern still ebbed from his chest. Snape often felt concern for his students, despite his reputation. However, this was different. Somehow over the course of five years he had become close to this girl. He had let his walls down to some extent. He had let her see the side of him that didn't glare or snarl. He had let her see him. And she had certainly let him in as well. And now it was time to do it all over again.

"Did you use a contraceptive?" He questioned gently. Maybe he couldn't keep her from growing up, but at least he could keep her safe in some ways.

"We used a condom. But if possible I would like to take a potion. Just to be sure." She answered quietly. Embarrassed but thankful that he had asked. He nodded.

"Madam Pomfrey has a morning after potion. But I will make a new batch for you." He knew she would not trust Madam Pomfrey, and to be honest he would rather the potion be fresh and potent.

"Thank you." She looked him in the eye. And there he saw true gratefulness and trust. He simply nodded back. But he did not rise from his spot on the potions table. She hadn't come for just a potion. He knew that. She had come to process her emotions and to talk, to seek advice and reassurance. And damn Merlin he was going to do his best to listen and give that reassurance.

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><p>Please give me your input! I take suggestions, and criticism. Also, question: do you think it would be way too out of character for Snape to recount his own first time experience for Hermione? Anyway, please review!<p> 


	6. Hermione,Snape and First Times Continued

Hey guys. So this chapter starts immediately after the previous one left off. Please review and suggest new fics to continue this series! Love your input and advice!

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><p>Hermione stared at her lap. <em>I just told my potions professor that I lost my virginity. Wow. <em>She began to slide off of the table she was sitting on. She desperately needed to talk to someone about this. About how scared she felt and how weird it was. About how her insides were shaking and she didn't know why. But she felt she had crossed a line. She was embarrassed and clearly so was he. She was putting him in a horrible position. As she had done multiple times over the last few years. _It's not his job to be your mother, your best friend and your confidante. He's your fucking male professor. _She shuddered slightly with embarrassment and fear. What if he told someone? What if he could never look at her again? What if she had just ruined the most trustworthy relationship she had with someone outside of Harry and Ron?

Snape watched as she slid off the potions table and onto the ground. She was running. Not that he could blame her. The enormity of what she was experiencing coupled with the fact that it was him that she had come to, had to be taking its toll on her. Despite the horrifyingly uncomfortable situation, he wanted to help. But this was an area that scared him probably just as much as it scared her. Periods he could explain. Sex he could explain. But helping her get through the experience of her first time, was something he was not equipped for. But as always he knew she would turn to no one else. He knew immediately that it had been Mr. Weasley that she had coupled with. He also knew that she had developed a strong friendship with the youngest Weasley girl. But she could not go to her with this. Hermione mumbled an apology for disturbing him and moved to leave the room. She couldn't run. She needed to talk. And he was the one she had chosen to talk to. And he was failing her. He watched as she began to walk away. Merlin knows what possessed him to say it, but he did.

"I was seventeen. We were both complete outcasts here. So we made a pact that we would...be together once before we left school. So that we could both say with honesty that we had...experienced it." His baritone voice dwindled off. Hermione turned around slowly. Almost positive she was going insane and hearing things. At the confused expression on her face, Snape continued slowly.

"We didn't talk afterwards. Or ever again. I remember feeling jittery and tired. Like every feeling was assaulting me and then their contradicting feelings were beating me as well. I never asked anyone, but I believe it is normal to feel that way Miss Granger. It is no small life event." At this he finally met her eyes and sighed. He motioned to the potions table she had previously been sitting on. She slowly made her way to it and eyed it carefully before placing herself atop it and once again staring at her hands in her lap. Snape curled his legs under him in a pretzel like positions and rested his elbows on his knees, then his chin on his knuckles. Hermione looked at him momentarily and despite the situation, almost laughed. She had never seen him pose in such a normal manner. He was always so stiff and ironed. But now he wasn't her potions professor. And she began to realize slowly that he wasn't trying to be her professor at this moment. He was trying to be her friend. Her guidance. She gulped down air and worked up the nerve to finally ask.

"Does it get easier. Or better?" She asked softly. His stomach flipped and his jaw clenched. This was dangerous territory. He had to decide wether or not he trusted her. She was a student. One of the golden trio. One of the students he had to pretend to hate, but had sworn to protect. She had shared with him personal moments and let him in as much as she was capable, and he had for the most part done the same. He could tell she had told no one. The rumors would have reached him long ago had she told anyone of their conversations. He swallowed thickly.

"I don't know." Hermione looked at his downcast eyes. He was staring at the floor beneath the table she sat upon. _Oh. Wow_. He had sex when he was seventeen, and hadn't had sex since. Professor Snape was celibate. The more Hermione thought about it, the more it made sense. He was a spy for the Order. He couldn't let people get close to him, and he was too honorable of a man to pay for romp. That she was confident in. And then it hit her full force. There were perfectly rational reasons as to why Snape didn't have any sexual relationships. But she had an underlying suspicion that he was actually also terribly self conscious. Hermione cradled in her heart the enormity of the fact he had just intrusted her with. He had told her something immensely personal. Something most likely no one else was aware of. He had trusted _her._ She had trusted him with the facts of her adolescence, and in return he had trusted her with a fact of his. _Wow._

Snape had grown wary of her silence. Had he shared too much? Made her more uncomfortable than she already was? Blurred the already hazy lines too much? He unfolded himself from his pretzel position. Snape's movement brought Hermione back to the present. He was withdrawing now. But she needed him. Putting fear embarrassment, and shame behind her, she began to do what she had come to him to do. Talk.

"It was very fast. Is that normal?" She asked quietly. Snape cleared his throat. Maybe they were okay afterall. If she was asking questions, if she was talking, then maybe, just maybe he hadn't completely ruined their relationship.

"The first time, yes." He answered.

"It was like it was over in seconds. I don't understand." Her voice cracked.

"Miss Granger, if it was indeed the first time for your partner, it is very hard for young men to maintain control over their bodies. As you may discover, in the... future it will most likely last longer. Other aspect will come into play as well. It doesn't always have to be a one sided event." He was being vague and cowardly and he knew it. But how do you tell a sixteen year old girl that later on in her life she will probably experience actual foreplay, and have her own needs of pleasure met? It was not at all appropriate for him to explain. Then again, none of this was. And here he was anyway.

"No Sir, I understand that. And I realize it was not his fault. I just don't understand why something so fast, so seemingly simple can... can do this." She did want to explain what she was feeling, nor did she truly know how to. Hermione was always articulate with words, and yet somehow she could not find the correct labels or categories for any of the emotions that were crescendoing through her. Snape nodded, understanding what she meant. She wanted to know how sex could make her feel so unraveled and out of control.

"Miss Granger, while the act is seemingly simple, the emotions are not." Snape swallowed hard. This was getting sticky. He could take cruciartist curse, but could he talk about emotions? It was beginning to seem like he was going to have to. If he was going to get her through this he had to be open. Which meant demolition of the walls he so carefully structured around himself. And so he continued.

"When you have sex you become vulnerable to another person. You allow them to know you in a very personal nature. You allow the possibility of losing control in front of them. You allow the possibility of them taking control." Snape slowed, watching as she digested this information. He would be careful not to overwhelm her too much, as she was already clearly reeling. Hermione nodded slowly. She began to speak but her voice cracked, so she began again.

"It's over now. Why am I still—still...afraid?" Hermione was not one to admit to fear easily, nor to succumb to it. But now it was overwhelming her. More so than she had ever felt, even when dealing with Harry and Voldemort.

"Because the act ends. But the emotions stay. They will dull over time. You will have different experiences and encounter different emotions related to those instances." He answered softly, and once again she nodded. But he knew she was still skeptical and unconvinced. He needed a different tactic, one that would work for her. One that worked for them both.

"Miss Granger, from a rational standpoint, you used protection, you will take a potion. There is no risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases. You are in what I believe to be a stable relationship with Mister Weasley. I do not think him the kind of young man to go about claiming the right to your first time, however horrid he may be in a classroom, he is in fact a decent young man."

Snape dwindled off. He had just complimented a Weasley. He really was treading in deep water. Hermione was not surpised that Snape knew about Ron. He was a spy afterall. But she also knew that he watched her, looked out for her, studied her for signs of distress. She had seen concern on his face many times in the last few years. Concern for her. She realized suddenly that his concern made her feel safe. It made her feel cared for, even somewhat loved. All of her professors were kind to her, and looked out for her after the death of her parents. But Snape was different. He did not presume to take over their roles as parents, and yet he made her feel almost as if she had an adult anchor, what a parent would be, a safe and knowledgeable harbor to go to in times of distress. He had calmy explained, despite the many uncomfortable situations, the things she needed to know. The things she needed to comfort her and arm her with knowledge. She realized what he was doing now, in asking her to think about it rationally. He was grounding her. He was using calm logic, something they both used as a coping mechanism, to guide her through this. Maybe they were not so different as Harry and Ron would have her believe.

As he watched her process the information, something occurred to Snape. Something he should have asked much sooner. But the situation has clouded his logical mind.

"Miss Granger...I apologize for being forward...but...are you in any pain?" He questioned softly, his cheeks burning. Hermione blushed. Somehow talking about sex all of a sudden felt very detached and safe compared to his question.

"I don't believe I need a potion Sir. It is gradually passing." She spoke in barely above a whisper, Snape had to strain his ears to hear her. He nodded and pursed his lips. At least she wasn't in severe pain. If she were, he wouldn't forgive himself for not having asked sooner. The full force of exhaustion was beginning to hit Hermione. She stifled a yawn. Snape's lips curled upward softly.

"Miss Granger, if it is possible, you should try to get some rest. Tomorrow is Saturday, but I suspect you will not travel to Hogsmeade with your classmates. If you wish, you may come back tomorrow. If you should need it, I would not be adverse to continuing this conversation." He stated softly, surprised both at his statement and how honestly it rung for him. He wanted to be there is she needed him. Hermione nodded, and finally made eye contact with him.

"Thank you Sir. For tonight. And for many other conversations and guidance. And for possibly for more to come." Her voice was soft but clear. Snape nodded. Hermione slid down from the potions table as Snape did the same. They walked toward the classroom door, Hermione ahead of him. Snape flicked his wand and the wards lifted. Hermione opened the door gently and turned, nodding at her professor, who bowed his head slightly.

"Goodnight Miss Granger."

"Goodnight Sir."

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><p>ReviewSuggest/Criticism Please!


	7. Hermione, Snape and Blurry Lines

Hey people. This fic takes place three days after Hermione and Snape's last encounter. This is going to be another multi-chapter segway, with a couple different elements. As always I would love reviews and suggestions for more fics of this genre. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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><p>Hermione's weekend had passed in waves of roiling emotions, only calmed by the act of studying and doing homework. She had avoided Ron all weekend, making excuses, claiming she wanted to get ahead in Divination and Arithmacy. It had been easy on Saturday, when everyone had gone to Hogsmeade, she had simply stayed behind. But come Sunday it was clear that Ron wanted to talk. Thinking it would be unfair to not grant him at least the opportunity to talk, Hermione let him talk. But it quickly became clear that talking was not all Ron wanted. Still processing Friday nights events, Hermione pushed him away angrily. She was not certain where the anger came from, because in actuality she was not angry with Ron. He had been kind and tender, he had not ravaged her, he could have gone slower, yes, but as Snape had made her aware it is often difficult for young men to proceed slowly their first time. Yet she was clearly angry at something. The more she thought about it, the greater the anger grew, before promptly blossoming into confusion and shame. In the brief amount of time they had spent talking before Ron had begun his advances, he had asked her several questions. At first they had warmed her, he genuinely seemed concerned about how she had felt after the experience. But they were questions she could not answer. And Hermione Granger did not deal well with questions she could not answer. So she had turned away from him, asking to be left alone. He had looked confused and then saddened. It had burned in her chest when she saw him look sad, it stung to know she was the cause of it. But she buried the pain and attempted to bury the confusion. But despite her attempts to cover them, they would not stay buried for more than a few moments at a time.<p>

Severus Snape surveyed the Great Hall with a grimace. He hated monitoring study hall. The majority of the students didn't want to study, they wanted to talk loudly to one another. And the ones who did want to study, became quickly frustrated with the lack of silence and added their angry voices to the already raucous atmosphere. So when Snape took over the study hall shift from Sprout, he had shot the entire room a menacing glare, and silence had quickly ensued. Now his eyes drifted from table to table, scowering for any pupil not diligently doing their work. Suddenly his gaze halted. Granger. Her hand had stilled over her parchment, he looked closer, realizing it was blank. They were now forty minutes into study hall, and she had yet to accomplish any work. It was well known amongst the teachers that Hermione Granger was one of the few students who truly took advantage of study hall periods. And yet there she sat, almost frozen, a look of pain and confusion etched upon her face. His stomach coiled, a reaction he had come to associate with her. On Saturday morning he had been summoned by the Dark Lord, but he had not left before insuring that a morning after potion was sent to Miss Granger's room, and the elf who delivered it sworn to silence on the matter. Saturday night she had looked well, all things considered, and Sunday he had not been present at dinner. But now she looked ashen and her eyes were red rimmed. Not from crying, but surely from holding back tears. They shared a similar ailment in that matter. Neither was willing to simply cry when it was needed. Instead they fought it and buried pain. For her sake, he hated that they were so similar.

His eyes filled with concern. Then he began his visual hunt for Weasley. He found him with ease, sitting next to Potter and his younger sister. He watched closely as Weasley frequently lifted his head to gaze at Hermione, a mix of concern, lust and confusion in his eyes. Concern. Well, at least he cared. But if Weasley had noticed something was wrong, and was portraying concern regarding the matter, then something must indeed be wrong. Was she still processing the events of last Friday? _Of course she is you git!_ But he had assured her that she could come back to him if she needed to talk. So why hadn't she? Snape refused to grant merit to the pang of hurt he felt over the revelation that she had not come to him, asked him for guidance or help. Perhaps she had come looking for him on Saturday and was not able to find him. Perhaps she thought he had not been truthful when he extended the offer to talk if she needed it. _Stop it! That's done. Saturday you cannot repeat. Now you must fix it._ Snape stood and dismissed the hall. He looked toward Hermione who had been forced from her reverie by his booming voice. She looked startled and suddenly panicked. He watched as she schooled herself, collected her things and left. Something was indeed wrong. He vowed to speak with her after dinner. But when dinner came, Hermione was nowhere to be seen in the Great Hall. Severus looked toward Dumbledore who had seen his careful appraisal of the Gryffindor table. His eyes sparkled knowingly and he gave a slight nod of his head, indicating that Severus should find her. Severus felt the tug behind his eyes as Dumbledore entered his mind from the other end of the table. Severus showed him the images of Hermione looking confused and panicked during study hall, but carefully guarded those of their recent conversation. Hermione deserved some privacy, even though Dumbledore would never let on that he knew, Snape still felt the need to preserve her confidence. Severus felt the tingle leave his mind and knew what was expected of him. The headmaster met his eyes from the other end of the table and Snape silently whispered the incantation.

_You are concerned. Find her. Assist her. Guide her. You mean much to her Severus. She trusts you. Go. _Snape pulled out of the headmaster's mind and stared at him for an instant longer before excusing himself from the table. He walked silently through the Great Hall, glaring at the eyes that dared to meet his. He knew where he would find her.

Snape's long legs carried him quickly up the winding steps to the astronomy tower. The evening was frigid and he pulled his wool cape tighter around himself. Why was she out in the freezing air? But he knew why. She needed the cold to ground her. He had done the same thing countless times over. If you stay in the cold long enough, you become numb. Clearly she wanted to be numb. As he reached the top of the tower he spotted her, sitting on a stone bench and leaning against the railing, looking out over the Black Lake and Hogwarts grounds. He could tell she had heard him approach, however she did not turn to him, clearly hoping whoever it was would simply leave. But he walked towards her, and took a seat on the bench beside her, a measurable distance away, allowing her space.

When the figure sat behind her she immediately knew who it was. Ron would have come up and kissed her, Ginny would have hugged and asked what was wrong, Harry would have called out her name. Only Snape would say nothing, and simply sit beside her. She drew a ragged sigh. Snape's gut clenched at the sound. He needed something to bridge the gap, the all pervasive distance that she was placing between them. Between herself and everyone. She needed to know it was alright, that she didn't need to be scared but that at the same time it was normal to feel so. That he knew. But how to make her understand?

"Your house missed your presence at dinner this evening." He would beat around the bush until she was ready to talk.

"I wasn't feeling well. I thought the fresh air would help. I'll make sure they know it was not against them that I didn't go to dinner." She thanked Merlin that he hadn't asked her what was wrong. She knew why he was there. To find out what was ailing her. And she appreciated his concern. But how could he help her if she herself did not know what was wrong?

"And has the fresh air helped your health?" He asked softly, knowing she would understand the loaded question.

"No." She answered, her voice breaking. To this he nodded, though she could not see him. Then it struck him. She may very well be feeling ill, not simply due to her obvious emotional distress, but also due to other reasons.

"Miss Granger did you take the potion I sent you?" He asked cautiously. She waited a moment before answering.

"I tried Sir, but the first sip made me ill. I could not stomach it. I came to find you, thinking perhaps there was a different potion I could take, but you were not in your classroom. I didn't want to bother Madam Pomfrey..." She dwindled off, clearly embarrassed. He knew she would not have gone to Madam Pomfrey. He cursed himself for not having been there. Muggle pregnancies were very different than Wizarding pregnancies, muggles progressed much slower than witches did. Fear coursed through Snape. He did not want to alarm her, but knew she would catch on as soon as he asked the question.

"I apologize Miss Granger...but I fear I must ask...when was your last...cycle?" He fought the heat that flamed under his cheeks. _Dammit, you talked her through her first cycle! And now you're embarrassed?_ Hermione's back stiffened. She didn't understand. They had used a condom, Ron had even pulled out of her before he came. Surely even if she was pregnant, she wouldn't be able to tell this early. It had only been three days! Clearly Snape knew something she didn't, or he would not have asked. Hating herself once more for her ridiculous lack of knowledge, she turned to face him. Fighting down embarrassment.

"Sir it has only been three days. We took precautions. Even if I was...surely I wouldn't be able to tell yet." She couldn't bring herself to say the words, but knew he understood what she was trying to convey. He nodded, his gaze averted.

"Please Miss Granger, when was your last cycle?" He asked once more. Trying to keep the fear from hi voice. He should have ensured that she had taken the potion when he returned on Saturday evening. He should have thought ahead and made sure that he laced the potion with an anti-nausea potion as well. He should have been sure she was safe. Hermione was silent for a moment.

"A week ago." Snape breathed a sigh of relief. Somewhat like muggle women, witches could only get pregnant at a specific time in their cycle, unlike muggle women there were no other times in their cycle during which they could get pregnant. Hermione was only in the second week of her cycle. Witches had to be in their third to be able to conceive. Snape allowed himself only a moment to rejoice in the fact that she was indeed not pregnant. Despite that reassuring fact, something was still clearly bothering her.

"In that case Miss Granger I can assure you that you are not pregnant. However I would strongly advice against...intercourse...during the third week of your cycle." He cleared his throat. He knew she would later read up on the subject, so he need not pursue the topic with her any longer. Hermione simply nodded her head and took a shuddering breath, avoiding his eyes.

"I don't...I don't think I will be having...intercourse...again anytime soon." Her cheeks flamed and her shoulder sagged. Snape nodded his head silently encouraging her to continue. A few moments of silence followed. When it became clear that she would not speak again without being prompted, he gently questioned her, attempting to tread carefully.

"Have you spoken with Mr. Weasley since your...encounter?" He asked softly. Hermione nodded.

"He said he wanted to speak with me. So he spoke." Snape nodded, when Hermione did not continue he once again questioned her.

"What did you speak about?" Hermione's jaw clenched.

"He...kissed me, and then...well...I told him I did not want to be kissed...and then he asked questions." She bit off the last few words. Snape's brow furrowed, an unusual act for him.

"Questions?" He pried gently. Hermione waited several moments before answering him, clearly trying to find the correct words. Snape wanted to reassure her that it didn't matter how she phrased it, that if she simply said it, they would work through it. Or at least try like hell. But instead he remained silent, waiting for her to continue. Hermione stared at his hands, clasped in his lap.

"He wanted to know...how it...was for me. If I l-liked it. What I wanted him to do next...next time." She dwindled off. Embarrassment flooded through her with a wash of other emotions she couldn't categorize. Snape sat in silence, his eyes now downcast as well. What Weasley though was being considerate had clearly thrown her for a loop. She was young and inexperienced, she didn't know what she wanted or liked. And yet he had asked her a question, and Snape knew that she loathed herself whenever she was unable to answer a question. Whenever those unlikely occasions arose, she would quickly do her research and find the answer, arming herself with knowledge. However, this time, she had no means of research.

"You are distressed because you could not answer him." He stated softly, knowing it was true. Hermione lifted her gaze to meet his. His eyes were soft and understanding. She nodded slowly, finally allowing the welling tears to fall. He continued.

"You are frustrated because you do not know the answers, nor do you feel you know how to find them." At his more tears came. He hated that he was causing her pain, but now that he had found the source of her distress it was important that he fully understand. Or at least try to.

"Miss Granger?" He leaned his head forward slightly, and she raised her eyes to his.

"Though it is terrifying, we do not always have to have all the answers. Sometime things will confuse and hurt us and when someone asks a question we do not know the answer to, we resort to the emotions that are clear, as opposed to those that are muddled. We turn to anger, because it is easily acknowledged. We use that anger to bury the fear we feel at not knowing the answers. Not having the answers Miss Granger, is not a weakness. Especially when it comes to matters of...intimacy." A sob wracked Hermione. He knew. He understood. He didn't fault her for it. The rest came spilling out of her, having been buried and held back. Her voice cracked and she stuttered through it.

"I wasn't ready. It happened so fast. He was so nice, but I wasn't ready. I thought I was. I really did. And...and then he asked me how I felt. How it felt. I don't want to hurt him. I lied. I said I liked it. I didn't know what to do. And he didn't really either. But he has older brothers. At least he knew more than I did. It was so...so strange. And I know I was supposed to feel something. But I didn't. I want to feel something. But I don't think I can." Her voice had quieted now, the sobs subsiding. An all pervasive embarrassment setting in. She began to stand, but he reached out to still her.

"Miss Granger, we have been through enough trials that you need not run in embarrassment. I assure you this conversation, as almost all do, will remain between us." She nodded tearfully.

"Thank you Sir." He nodded and stood. He walked over to the railing of the astronomy tower and looked down at the Black Lake. He cleared his throat.

"I don't believe anyone is ever truly ready for the first time they are with someone." He waited a few moments before continuing.

"And it is not something you grow accustomed to immediately. Intimacy is complicated. Just because you felt nothing does not mean that will always be the case. That said, I wouldn't recommend doing anything further until you feel more comfortable with the idea. I know it seems absurd, but I would suggest talking to Mr. Weasley. I know you will find the words that will be kind but clear." She joined him at the railing.

"I just...I want to feel something." She sighed, frustrated still, but immensely relieved. How had he understood? She wanted to ask, but knew it would be pushing the boundaries too far. The lines were already far too blurry. They both looked out upon the lake, the sky now inky black.

"I know." Came his soft reply.

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><p>HELP! Where do I go now?<p> 


	8. Hermione, Snape and Delving

AN: Hey guys, sorry this new chapter has taken so long. I've been in the middle of nowhere Upstate NY, which is gorgeous but not totally conducive to updating fanfics. Anywho, please review this chapter and leave me suggestions. If you want your input to be considered(which it always is, you guys give awesome advice) soon, you should review ASAP because I am in the direct path of Hurricane Irene and therefore will lose internet but will still be writing new chapters. Hope you guys enjoy this one. FYI there will be a slow evolution in Hermione and Snape's relationship. Not sure if it's what you want, but I'm going to give it a shot.

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><p>"This is ludicrous Albus, she's a student!" Severus Snape thundered at the headmaster as he paced in front of him. The old man watched him with love and amusement twinkling in his shiny blue orbs.<p>

"As is Potter, Severus." At this Snape stopped pacing and glared at the headmaster.

"It is necessary for him to learn occlumency. It is not imperative for Miss Granger. Even if it were then don't you think the Weasley boy should have to learn as well?" He seethed, anger and anxiety steaming off of him like a damp roof on a hot morning. Dumbledore sighed, stood up and walked around his desk to stand before Severus.

"Mr. Weasley is Harry's anchor in humanity and comfort. Miss Granger, to put it bluntly, is the brains of the operation." Dumbledore smiled as Severus unconsciously nodded his head in agreement with this statement. Dumbledore continued.

"Therefore she must learn occlumency for not only her own safety, but the safety of Potter and by extension the peaceful wizarding world. And you will teach her." Dumbledore twinkled and turned to move back to his desk chair. Snape growled.

"What of Minvera? She is her house leader. They respect each other. I have too much to do. And since teaching Potter the art of occlumency went so spectacularly I should think you would be more wary of having me teach another student." Severus deflated his chest, reminding himself to breathe. Dumbedore gazed at him for a moment. Seeing the tense shoulders, the exhaustion rings around his eyes, the way his fist clenched when he walked, the old headmaster felt a wave of guilt crash over him. Life had not been kind to Severus Snape, and while Dumbledore had tried his best to remedy that, he had in fact only made it so much worse. Snape met Dumbledore's eyes, the gaze behind them kind and fatherly but also authoritative.

"She trusts you Severus, she respects you. You make her feel calm and adequate when others fail to do so. And as for your unvoiced concerns about what you will have to share with her in order to properly teach her occlumency, I can promise you that she is not Potter. She will understand, she will not pity you or expose you. She only wants to learn. And she needs to learn. Goodnight, Severus." And with that Dumbledore once again looked down at the papers littering his desk and pretended that they were of massive interest, signaling Snape to leave his office, despite the fact that he still wanted to argue.

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><p>Two days later the lessons began. Hermione walked down the dungeons half an hour past curfew, as requested. When she arrived at his classroom she moved her hand to knock but the door swung open before her fist could make contact. There stood her potions Professor. He had discarded his outer school robe and was now only sporting a crisp white button up shirt and black slacks. His hair still hung about his face and he looked more tired than usual. Hermione cautiously slipped into the room, trying to meet his eyes. Snape kept his gaze averted, he did not want the anger and exhaustion there to unnerve her. It was not her fault that these lessons had become necessary. He rolled his shoulders and sighed, waving his hand at two stools to bring them closer.<p>

"Please sit, Miss Granger." His voice held none the the dark edge that Hermione was used to hearing in the classroom, but it also held none of the compassion that she was used to hearing when alone with him. She placed her satchel down on the floor next to her and perched herself atop the stool opposite him. He nodded slightly and waited a moment before beginning.

"As I'm sure the headmaster has already informed you, you are here to begin occlumency lessons. They will occur twice a week after curfew. All of your teachers have been informed that these lessons take priority over any out-of class work, therefore you should not be concerned if you are not able to turn an assignment in on time." He watched her absorb this information, her eyebrows furrowing and her lips pursing. He knew she would still get all her work in on time, despite this allowance, even it meant losing sleep. Snape continued.

"As you gradually become stronger in the discipline we will meet more frequently during the week to further strengthen the skill." Snape filled his lungs with air and slowly let his chest deflate. Hermione nodded her head and met his eyes. Snape almost choked on his own saliva when she looked at him with trust and concern shimmering in her gaze. He stood quickly and moved to his desk, collecting his thoughts before turning toward her again.

"I trust you know what occlumency is?" His voice was colder now, he was building up the walls he would need to get through this. The walls he would need to protect himself. Hermione heard the change in tone and mentally readied herself. He was closing her off because he had to. Not because he wanted to or was just being cruel. She knew he needed his walls as much as she needed hers.

"Yes Sir." She answered shortly. While she needed her walls with most people, she did not need certain ones with him. He knew she was smart. She had nothing to prove with flashy know-it-all answers. Snape nodded his head.

"Then we will begin. I will say the incantation and within a few second you will be able to feel me within your mind. It will be an odd sensation. Take a moment to adjust and then begin to attempt to block me. Think of it as someone asking a question you don't want to answer. You make up a story, you evade, and you change the subject. Do it without words." Snape watched her for any signs of confusion. As usual there weren't any. Snape took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. Choosing his words carefully before he continued.

"Miss Granger if we are to do this you will have very little privacy. We are all secure within our own minds, but as soon as someone invades them nothing is a secret any longer. No matter how well you know someone you cannot know their inner-most thoughts. Your most personal memories and information will no longer be only your own." His voice was strained and quiet.

Hermione nodded slowly. She had been aware that he would be able to see what she was thinking, but not things like memories and personal information. She took a deep breath and looked straight at him, meeting his eyes.

"I know. I trust you Sir. There isn't much you don't know." While this was not entirely true, she hoped to make him at least marginally more at ease. Snape felt his chest warm unexpectedly at her statement. Snape nodded and wanted to thank her, but could not bring himself to say the words.

"Alright. Let's begin."

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><p>So sorry again that it took so long to update. Your input would be wonderful!<p> 


	9. Hermione, Snape and Learning

Hey guys. Sorry this took so long. I'm having some trouble deciding where to go next. I know where I want this story to eventually end up, I'm just having some trouble getting there. So if you guys have any ideas I would love some chapter ideas and plot twist inspirations! This chapter is kind of a build up chapter, just to continue to establish their relationship and the trust that is being fostered between them. The next chapter will have more about Snape's past as Hermione is allowed to rifle through his memories. YAY! Anyway, hope you enjoy it. PLEASE GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS! I LOVE YOUR INPUT!

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><p>The tingle behind Hermione's eyes intensified and she knew her complex professor was in her mind. He went slowly at first. Images danced across her vision. Images of taking the train to Hogwarts for the first time, riding her first bicycle, her wonder during her first trip to Diagon Alley. Memories she had previously barely recounted moved in front of her. He was taking care to only bring up happy memories. He was protecting her. It was a few moments before she realized that she needed to begin to block him, having taken some time to adjust to the sensation of having someone share her memories. Hermione began to try to evade him. It had sounded so simple, and yet she couldn't figure out how to block him from her mind. She fought him for several minutes, focusing on altering her memories to create falsehood. By the time Severus released her from the connection, she was feeling drained and fuzzy. He eyed her silently, before pulling two stools out from underneath the lab tables. He gestured for her to take the seat across from him, and sat before her. Hermione ran her hands over her eyes and scrubbed her face.<p>

"Wow." She mumbled quietly. Severus nodded.

"Yes." He continued to watch her, knowing she would have questions. What most people did not realize about Hermione was that her strong verbal ability, masked a need to outwardly process the things that plagued her.

"It was much more...difficult than I had expected." She spoke in the direction of her lap, self-conscience of this admittance. Snape's face softened.

"Occlumency takes most people years to fully master. What you have done tonight, covers several months of traditional training. You will improve." He stated simply, knowing that flattery would not work with her. She needed honesty. And he would do his best to provide that for her. Snape turned and called for his house elf, who appeared with a crack. He ordered a light dinner for himself and Hermione before turning back to her.

"We will eat. Then we will try again." She looked momentarily puzzled, but nodded.

"These sessions will be long. The more drained you are, the harder it is to protect your mind and your memories. The Dark Lord will not wait until you are fully rested to invade your mind. So you will build the strength required to protect yourself even when physically and mentally exhausted."

"Yes Sir." She understood. He stood and walked to his desk. He shuffled papers for a moment before turning back to her.

"Food will be here shortly. I have third year essays to grade. If you do not have any pressing homework, I would be glad of your assistance." He looked back at her and she smiled tiredly.

"Of course." Hermione replied and walked toward the desk. Snape transfigured a chair similar to his own and placed it on the opposite side of the desk from his own. He handed her a stack of papers and a red quill before sitting across from her. They worked in silence for several minutes until their soup and bread arrived along with coffee and biscuits. They ate in relative silence, each continuing to read the third year papers. When they were both finished with dinner Snape poured each of them a cup of coffee.

"Tonight we will use caffeine to keep you sharp. This is the only time we will do this." Hermione nodded.

"Thank you." She was beginning to feel the drain on her magic, making her slightly light headed. Sipping the coffee steadier her nerves. Snape watched her over the rim of his coffee mug. She was tired, but she didn't want to seem weak. He was proud of her strength, but felt a pang in his chest as he realized she was too embarrassed to allow him to see her at less than her absolute best. Snape cleared his throat. Hermione took the hint and stood up and walked toward the center of the classroom once again. Snape grabbed his wand from his desk and moved to follow her, stopping a few feet away. Hermione turned to face him. Snape met her eyes.

"Just as before." Hermione nodded. She cleared her mind and stared straight into his dark gaze. She heard a vague whisper of an incantation and then the tingle behind her temple began once again.

He began once again with more intensity, wanting to keep her as safe as possible by furthering her training. The restraint he had possessed earlier diminished considerably as the threat to her life and their mission weighed heavily on his mind. Snape began to rifle harder through her mind, finding memory after memory and drawing it out. Gone were the joyous memories of innocent childhood and on came the teenage angst. Not only was Snape living what Hermione had lived through seeing it, he could also feel it. This notion startled Snape. Being a skilled legillimens he had rifled through the minds of many people, but never had he actually been able to feel the emotions attached to the memory. Disconcerted by this phenomenon, he began to push even harder. He could feel her strength draining as her attempts to block him faded in and out. As her strength diminished he noticed he could feel her emotions begin to run higher, to take hold in a way they did not when she was alert. Without needing to dig through her mind memories of emotional significance came to the surface. Fighting with her mother shortly before she was killed, forgetting to hug her father before she left for Hogwarts, Snape insulting her teeth, girls in the dormitory ridiculing her hair and lack of makeup, crying in the astronomy tower as the full weight of her parents death hit her, her confusion after being with Ron for the first time, the void that felt filled when she aced an exam, and the sense of safety and comfort she felt when she was with Snape.

Hermione's breathing had become ragged by the time Snape exited her mind. Moving swiftly he pushed her gently into a chair, summoning tea and pulling his own stool closer to hers. He pushed the warm mug into her hands and wrapped her fingers around it, holding his own hands over hers for a moment to ensure she had a secure grip. Hermione looked up to see her professor's hair draped in front of his eyes, as he stared intently at the ground. While she in no way felt violated by his excursion into her mind, she was incredibly embarrassed at the things she was sure he had seen. He had moved so quickly through her mind that she was unsure of everything he had seen, having only stopped to examine a few things, most likely demonstrating what the Dark Lord would do if he should ever have the chance to rifle through her mind. Her shudder brought Snape's attention back to her. His eyes studied her for a moment. She was exhausted, no doubt, but still did not complain. He smiled gently at her.

"You did well. It is reasonable to feel tired." While it was not overly compassionate, his eyes were soft and she knew it was a rarity to be treasured. She mustered a smile out of her exhaustion. Snape stood and placed a hand on her elbow to help her stand.

"I will walk you to your dormitory. You will be excused from your morning classes. These lessons take priority." Hermione nodded, too tired to argue. Standing, she stumbled slightly. Hermione's cheeks colored and Snape smiled gently, silently wrapping warm fingers around her elbow and leaning her into him for support.

It took all of Hermione's mental and physical energy to make it to her dorm. She had stumbled a few times and cursed under her breath, but Snape had continued to silently guide her toward Gryffindor tower. When they reached the deserted common room Snape had deemed her capable of reaching her dorm solo. Hermione took a deep breath before turning toward him.

"Thank you Sir. For your patience." What she did not say was written on plainly on her face. She was thanking him for the discretion she knew he would have when it came to her personal memories and information. He nodded with soft eyes before his low voice reacher her again.

"Tomorrow evening half an hour after curfew. My classroom." And then he should have turned away. All of his habitual behavior would have indicated simply turning on a heel and leaving. Instead, he acted on impulse and gently squeezed her arm where he had placed his hand to guide her. She looked at the offending hand, a calm smile gracing her lips. Her hazel eyes met his panicked ones as she lifted her own hand to his and returned the gesture. His face relaxed once again and he nodded gently, still entirely confused at his own actions, however simple and innocent. He cleared his throat, becoming uncomfortable with the continued contact.

"Goodnight Miss Granger." He removed his hand from her arm and turned around.

"Goodnight Sir." Hermione watched him exit the common room, heavy exhaustion hitting her. Despite her drained energy and slight feeling of inadequacy she found herself looking forward to what tomorrows lesson would bring.

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><p>Suggestionscritique/inspiration please!


	10. Hermione, Snape and Crumbling Walls

Hey guys. Sorry for the delay in updating. I've had finals and such. Hope you like this one. As always please review and give suggestions as to where you would like me to go with this. Thanks!

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><p>Hermione's classes went by in a haze. At breakfast Harry and Ron had expressed their concern at her lack of appetite and look of exhaustion.<p>

"You alright 'Mione?" Ron asked through a mouthful of eggs.

"Fine Ron. Just stayed up too late. Arithmacy problem sets." Harry eyed her for a moment before returning to his pumpkin juice. Both boys seemed satisfied with her answer. She breathed a sigh of relief, not having told them about her lessons with Snape. Harry had enough to worry about without the extra concern for her safety, and Ron would find the prospect of Snape teaching Hermione privately to be insane. After she and Ron had slept together, she had sought out Snape to pour her heart out to. He had advised her well, and she had talked to Ron. It was awkward and she knew she had hurt his feelings, but she also knew that in the long run she had done the right thing in not leading him on any further. Though it was hard for her the first few months that he was with Lavender, she came to accept it and found herself happy for him. But though he loved her friends, occasionally they could be rather dense, so she opted to simply tell a white lie for the time being. Following breakfast, the trio headed off to tackle a full day of classes.

Hermione barley managed to stay awake through Transfiguration. As she walked into the potions classroom her eyes met Snape's at the head of the classroom. The slightest incline of his head towards her was not caught by any of her classmates, but she knew what it meant.

Snape appraised Hermione the moment she walked into the room. He immediately knew she had not taken his advice and slept in. Of course she hadn't, that would have meant missing classes. He smirked inwardly, his chest warming slightly. She looked exhausted. A thought hit him. He quickly instructed the students to read a passage in their potions books and be prepared to produce the potion following a fifteen minute reading period. He watched as Hermione fumbled with her book, struggling to retrieve it from the confines of her bag.

"Miss Granger!" He barked in her direction and immediately regretted his tone as he watched her jump and bump her elbow on the table. He also knew it was the tone he needed to use so as not to draw any unwanted attention to their mentorship. Hermione looked up at him, startled.

"My office. Now. To discuss your essay." He watched as her eyes took on a panicked look. He tried to reassure her with his own, but she was so beyond exhausted that she didn't notice, she only shuffled her feet toward his office door and he met her there. He opened the door and ushered her in before slamming it for dramatic effect. Hermione turned toward him.

"Sir I'm sorry my essay wasn't satisfactory, I'm sure I can improve it. If I could just have one more day..." She rushed on. Severus smiled slightly.

"Hermione, breathe. Your essay was impeccable, as they always are." He watched as her shoulders sagged in relief, but her curiosity soon created a new wave of energy.

"Then why?..." She queried.

"I can see you did not take my advice and rest this morning." He crossed his arms over his chest as she blushed slightly and averted her eyes.

"I'm sorry Sir. I had classes that I did not want to miss. There is an upcoming exam in Transfiguration and I needed to be in class to be sure I knew the content. And in Arithmancy-" Snape cut her off

"Yes. I understand." His voice was not overly compassionate, but it lacked its usual edge. Hermione allowed herself a small smile. Snape watched as she relaxed once more. He understood. How was it that he always understood? His voice drew her out of her musings.

"It is imperative to your training that we continue at a reasonable pace. You need rest to do so." Hermione began to protest but he raised his hand to silence her.

"You will rest here. On the couch. Your classmates will be made aware of the fact that your essay was not satisfactory and I have ordered you complete a new essay by the end of the school day. This will excuse you from your other classes and your friends will not be overly concerned." As he spoke he moved about the room, transfiguring a leather chair into a comfortable sofa and turning one of his robes into a blanket. He folded the blanket at the bottom of the sofa and looked up once again. Hermione stared at him momentarily before moving to protest.

"Sir I'm fine. Nothing a mug of coffee won't fix. I can take a quick nap after dinner before our lesson." She rushed on. Severus put his hand up once again to stop her.

"You're exhausted. You don't like the taste of coffee and as soon as you make it back to our rooms you will not be able to rest because you will want to study. Shoes off. You will sleep, or at least rest until the end of the school day. Then you will attend dinner and study for a few hours before meeting me back here a half hour following curfew. We will work all night. I have rounds at two am, but following that we will continue. The Dark Lord will not wait forever Miss Granger." His words sobered Hermione. He was right. This was serious. This training took priority over her need to be perfect in all her academics. She looked to the floor.

"Yes Sir." He nodded his head, regretting his methods, but knowing they were necessary. He turned away from her. He heard her shuffling behind him, moving toward the couch and removing her shoes. He turned back toward her. She looked at him, slightly unnerved at the thought of him watching her lie down, but not so unnerved that it stopped her from stretching out on the sofa and wrapping the blanket around her. Snape held back a smile at her wide yawn. His voice betrayed his compassion slightly.

"The restroom is through that door. I have classes until one thirty, following that I will work in the classroom so that I do not disturb you." He moved towards the door once again. Not turning at the sound of her voice, but halting his hand as it moved towards the door knob.

"Sir? I'm sorry for not following your advice. I know I have inconvenienced you." Her voice trailed off and he turned to her.

"You have not inconvenienced me. I am familiar with your devotion to your classes. I am sorry that I must ask so much of you. I know how much your academics mean to you. I'm afraid they must be sacrificed slightly for the next few weeks." He cleared his throat as she nodded her head.

"Sleep Miss Granger." With that he turned and exited his office, closing the door behind him. Hermione looked after him for a moment before settling herself on the couch. The last thing she was aware of before she fell asleep was the distinctive masculine smell of pine and salt and wood. A smell she had come to know as Severus Snape.

A few hours later Severus walked toward his office door, opening the door he walked in quietly. Hermione was still asleep on the couch he had transfigured for her. Severus stopped short, his original intention to wake her as soon as he entered. He was delayed instantaneously as he watched her sleep. She was fitful and had tangled herself in the blanket he had left her. He watched her with his brow furrowed. He knew there were traumas she never spoke of, but his heart clenched as he realized those traumas haunted her dreams. He was startled from his reverie when she began to whimper. Snape stared for a moment before she began to moan her parents names. Calling out for her mother tore at his heart and he strode toward the couch, dropping on his knees next to her head.

"Miss Granger?" She continued to tremble and whimper in her sleep. He placed a hand on her shoulder and called softly.

"Hermione?" Her eyelids fluttered open and she gasped when she saw him leaning over her. She sat up quickly and became light headed. Snape moved his upper body just in time to avoid colliding with her as she sat up. She blinked several times, then sagged back against the couch. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment and she moved her eyes toward the blanket, untangling herself awkwardly. Snape smiled and attempted to reassure her, all the while being inwardly concerned that her reaction had been to him and not to her dream. Hermione kept her eyes directed away from Snape's.

"Sorry Sir. I must have overslept. What time is it?" Hermione desperately tried to make her way out of the situation gracefully. Snape schooled his features once more. He stood and turned away from her, making his way toward the desk in his office. He began to shuffle papers atop his desk.

"You were tired. You needed to sleep. It will help you tonight and in the long run as your training becomes more rigorous." He cleared his throat.

"You have fifteen minutes before dinner." He turned his back on her. Hermione stood, understanding that this was her cue to leave. She silently slipped on her shoes and grabbed her bag after folding the blanket on the end of the couch. She made her way out of the room, only stopping when she was about to open the door.

"Sir?" She asked quietly. Snape turned toward her, his eyebrows raised.

"Thank you." Snape's features softened and he nodded. He smiled briefly, but then the moment was gone and he became cold again.

"I will see you half an hour after curfew. Don't be late." Hermione nodded and Snape turned his back on her once more. Hermione closed the door behind her.

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><p>As Hermione made her way down to the dungeons after curfew her mind traveled back to the afternoon. Her professor had been kind. Not that she was surprised, having been through many embarrassing and emotional moments in his presence she was well aware of his ability to be compassionate. But today she found herself trying to remember every look he had given her. The way his eyes softened but he remained in control of his demanding voice. The brief smiles that crossed his face followed by fierce withdrawal. She knew the entirety of Hogwarts would think her insane if she made it known how well he could comfort her. How well he seemed to understand. Hermione mentally shook herself as she approached the potions classroom. She raised her hand to knock but once again the door fell open to reveal her potions professor sitting in one of the high stools, his arms across his chest, dressed in black slacks and a white pressed shirt. She had never noticed that he wore boots before, but as she thought about it momentarily it made sense. He was a potions master, and potions could be extremely volatile. Boots were a safety measure. Snape quirked his eyebrows at Hermione for a moment before he nodded his head, indicating that she should enter. Snape lifted his hand and the door swung shut behind her. He momentarily considered asking her how dinner was and how her studying was going, but decided against it. Neither of them needed idle chatter to feel comfortable. If anything it simply made both of them uncomfortable and bored.<p>

Hermione dropped her bag next to one of the stools across from Snape and perched herself across from him. She met his eyes and Snape nodded.

"Tonight we will test your endurance." Hermione nodded and Snape continued.

"In most cases endurance simple means stamina. Occlumency requires a different kind of endurance. When someone is in your mind you have to detach yourself from your emotions while continuing to feed the person emotional information. You have to alter memories precisely so that they remain believable...You have to reveal everything without revealing anything."

Snape's voice was hard. He had done this a million times. Had his mind raped by The Dark Lord a thousand times. Given Dumbledore hundreds of pensieves to look over. He had had every painful memory replayed for others to see. He had had to alter every joyous memory so that they wouldn't get him or someone else killed. _She shouldn't have to. She shouldn't have to live with everything closed off for fear of giving away too much or getting too close. She shouldn't have to do this. _Snape shook himself as he watched Hermione absorb the information, then look to him for further instruction with steel in her eyes. _Yes she does. She needs to win this war. We need to win this war. _Snape stood and Hermione did the same. He removed his wand from his pocket and took a deep breath, looking to her. She nodded her head slightly indicating she was ready.

The tingle behind Hermione's eyes intensified. She knew Snape was done coddling her. She knew he was going to push her. He was going to protect her by teaching her how to protect herself. By teaching her how to protect the thing most precious to her; her mind. She also knew that the only way to express her gratitude was to throw herself into the training with every ounce of energy and concentration she could possibly muster. So she did.

Her hands shook as he reeled through her mind. She threw up every wall she could think of, blocking him, slowing him down, changing her memories. He didn't withdraw. So she kept fighting him. Her head felt like it would split in two, but she continued to fight against the memories and emotions he was dredging up. He was done being polite. He needed to keep her safe. So she saw her parents again, she saw her night with Ron, her first period, getting a bad grade on a test, she relived reading the letter she received from the ministry telling her that her parents had been killed. She heard all of Draco Malfoy's taunts, all of his inappropriate remarks and insults. She listened to the girls in her dorm make fun of her every action. She broke out in a cold sweat as he plowed through her memories over and over again. She threw up wall after wall but he got past them. She maintained control of one wall which she had held from the very beginning. He pushed against it, hurled memories at it, at her. Assaulted her with emotions that burned and shattered. She could feel him in her head, could somehow feel his warmth and care, but also his insistence. She needed to fight. He continued to trudge through memories of Krum, of Hagrid, Harry and Ron, of the hollow feeling she felt every time she was with the Weasleys. He skimmed through memories of happier times spent with them before her parents were killed. He watched as Molly and Arthur vowed to take her under their wing as their own. He watched her thank them graciously and then withdraw. She hadn't let them in. She hadn't let anyone in. He watched through her eyes as she held Harry the night he lost Sirius Black. He watched as she hugged Ron when his rat turned out to be a murderer. He watched as she held Ginny Weasley and offered a comforting shoulder and listening ear to the young girl's dilemmas. He hammered at the wall she had created. She was protecting something and she was protecting it well. He was proud and silently impressed, but he kept hammering. A warmth filled his chest as her memories passed in front of his eyes. She was selfless. She had been hurt beyond belief and yet she was still there when people needed her. And yet the only memories of people doing the same for her were memories of him and awkward conversations. His gut twisted as he realized he could feel all of her emotions. Could feel the emotions attached to the memories he was seeing. Love for her friends. A sense of duty to her schoolwork. A sense of relief and comfort around him. A sense of deep loss. Pain. He could feel all of it. Suddenly a part of him was angry. Furious. But not at her. However, he knew that energy could be used. He slammed into her mental wall full force and it shattered. She was exhausted and he knew that was the only reason it had crumbled. He watched as she ran up to the astronomy tower on a frigid night, close to dawn. He watched her heave over the side of the railing. He watched her collapse into herself and sobs. She choked on her words and he couldn't quite make them out. Then with a startling realization he found he could feel them. _Mom. Dad. I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. They weren't terrorists. They killed you. They killed your because of me. Because of me! Why wasn't I there? It should have been me! I'm so sorry..._

He watched as she pulled a piece of paper from her pocket. His whole body went cold as he recognized the writing. Lucius Malfoy. In the other hand Hermione held a small gold ring. Snape didn't need to see the note to know what it said. Lucius was there. They weren't muggle terrorists that had killed her parents. They were magical ones. Severus felt waves of nausea assault him. He watched as she stared at the ring before she crumbled in on herself again. _It's my fault. It's all my fault..._ Severus knew it was no longer just a memory he was hearing. She was saying it. He pulled out of her mind fiercely, just in time to step forward and catch her, bringing them both to the floor. She was shaking and he was not much steadier. He pulled her into his lap and circled his arms around her tightly. She was so small against him. She sobbed into his neck and he felt the tears wet his collar. He rocked her back and forth gently, not caring that it was inappropriate, not caring that she was his student, not caring about any of it. Simply caring about her. He waited several minutes before he trusted his voice. Her sobbing had quieted and she was no longer repeating her mantra. Now she was whispering it with choked hiccups into his neck.

"I should have been there. It was my fault. I stayed here for Holiday break. It was my fault. It is my fault." His arms tightened around her even more. He gently pulled her face from his neck and forced her eyes to meet his.

"No. Never." His eyes told her it was not her fault. His eyes told her it was okay. His eyes told her he would kill Lucius once day. His eyes told her he understood. She nodded and hiccuped on another sob. He pulled her back to him and began to rock her again.

Both Hermione and Severus had lost track of the time they had spent on the floor. Hermione's breathing was returning to normal and Severus had long forgotten that his legs had fallen asleep. He ran his hand from the back of her head down to the middle of her back and back up again. He must have repeated the motion a million times because it felt achingly familiar. She was still trembling but she had sagged into him and was no longer ramrod straight with tense emotion. _How long had she known? Why didn't she tell someone? Dumbledore? Anyone? Why didn't she tell me? _The only conclusion he could come to was that Lucius had threatened her. But she was not the king of girl to shy away because of threats to her person. No. Lucius threatened someone else in order to force Hermione to keep her mouth shut. Snape's fists clenched. Hermione had quietly wrapped her arms around his middle and they sat holding each other for a long time. Finally Snape spoke.

"This is what the dreams are about?" He asked quietly, whispering into her air. Hermione waited a moment before nodding into his shoulder. He held her even tighter.

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><p>Please review and give me suggestions!<p> 


	11. Hermione, Snape and Holding

Hey Guys. So. This chapter is a bit of a turning point. I hope you like it. I, as always need suggestions as to where to go next, however now there is more of a general theme and it is a little less ambiguous. Hope you like it. Please give me suggestions for upcoming chapters/themes/incidents. Thanks!

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><p>Snape's back and rear bad begun to ache from sitting on the cement floor of the potions classroom. His arms still wrapped tightly around Hermione, rocking her gently as silent tears continued to stream down her cheeks and land on his chest. Her arms still trembling, were wrapped around his waist, He smelled of fresh aftershave and spices, and she bean to slowly relax into his strong chest. Snape's thumb drew small circles between her shoulder blades. Over and over it struck him how inappropriate this was, for him to be holding a student on the floor of his classroom. And over and over again he continued not to care. His chest ached, an ache he had not felt in years. There were difficult conversations to come and he knew they would only deepen her grief, and amplify her pain. But they needed to happen regardless. He needed to know what Lucius had threatened her with. He needed to keep her safe. He needed her to feel safe. He almost laughed out loud at the last thought. They were in a war. A war that would likely kill hundreds in the magical community, an extremely dangerous war that would in all likelihood kill him. He pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind as the startling realization of how much he cared for her came to the forefront. He was holding the smartest witch of her age, a brilliant young woman with compassion and courage he had never imagined possible after losing Lily. She was beautiful and passionate with a fierce intellect that matched if not surpassed his own.<p>

Hermione's sniffling drew him out of his thoughts and he gently pulled back to look at her. Her cheeks were streaked with salty tearstains and her eyes were red. He pushed a lock of golden curls out of her eyes and swiped his thumb along her cheek. Their eyes met and her shoulders sagged. She would have to tell him, and soon. He nodded and she sighed as she began to move off his lap, her bone deep exhaustion making her clumsy. He stopped her by placing a gentle hand on her hip. She met his eyes, questioning. They both knew she was exhausted, her mind had been ravaged and acute grief she had carried with her for years had finally surfaced. They also both knew that she had absolutely no desire to go back to her tower, to face her peers and their irritating adolescence, no desire to answer Harry and Ron's questions. She loved them dearly, but she could not share this with them, could not put Harry in even more danger and could not deal with Ron's constant nagging and pestering. Snape's green eyes questioned her cautiously. She laid her head back in the crook of his neck and relaxed against him again. Severus gently slid his arm under her knees and his other arm around her back. It took a certain amount of maneuvering to get them both off the floor in one piece, but Severus's strength worked to their benefit and Hermione's exhaustion insured that she was unaware of any awkwardness in their transition to standing up. Severus held her tightly against him as he swiftly made a decision. She was his student, there were already so many boundaries that had been blurred by their relationship. The night had already taken multiple inappropriate turns. But she needed him. And he needed to be there for her, a thought that terrified him to no end. He would take her to his chambers, allow her to sleep off some of her exhaustion. He would floo Dumbledore and give him a few essential details to justify a student staying in his rooms, then he either sleep on the couch or pull a chair next to his bedroom door to ensure he was there if she needed him. Hermione had noticed his brief pause and lifted her head to look at him, noticing his slight discomfort she moved to stand, but he held her in place.

"Am I correct in assuming you do not wish to return to your tower this evening?" He asked, his voice husky from tethered emotion. She looked at him briefly, before nodding. He cleared his throat.

"Would you be opposed to staying in my chambers for the evening?" As he heard the words come out of his mouth, he swiftly tried to alter the implications. Stumbling over his next sentence.

"I simply mean that you could….of course there wouldn't be…..if you're at all uncomfortable…..please know that…..I would never…..I mean to say…." Hermione stopped him by placing a finger to his lips. She nodded her head.

"I know. Thank you." He nodded; startled at the way his lips tingled for the brief moment her finger landed there. Snape began to walk toward a suit of armor located in a small corner of the classroom. Supporting Hermione's weight with one arm and slid two fingers over the metal helmet. The suit turned outward and exposed a long hallway that lead to a large oak door. Severus once again ran two fingers along a panel in the door and it swung open. He carried Hermione through a room lined with bookshelves that sported a large desk meticulously organized. Snape carried Hermione through a door to the left of the fireplace, leading her into a large bedroom with floor to ceiling windows that drew Hermione out of her reverie.

"Wow. I thought we were in the dungeons." Snape smiled slightly, even in a deep state of grief and exhaustion she was still curious.

"The hallways is deceivingly level. We are still on the bottom floor, now however it is the bottom floor above ground." She smiled slightly at his tone of voice and his lips twitched upward slightly. He turned to the bed and gently placed Hermione on her feet, standing close behind her incase her balance failed her. She wobbled and his arms came back around her immediately, guiding her to a sitting position on the bed. Her eyes were downcast, embarrassed by her lack of control over her own body. Severus's heart broke in places he didn't even know existed. He stood before her.

"You are exhausted. Do not think more of it. You are strong." He stated simply, unsure of how else to reassure her. He cleared his throat and turned away from her, walking swiftly toward his large wardrobe. He pulled out one of his white dress shirts and turned to hand it to her, knowing she would be able to transfigure it into something more comfortable to wear. When Severus turned back around Hermione was staring at her hands, her eyes glazed with pain. He strode quietly to her side and sat down next to her on the bed. She leaned into his side and closed her eyes. Snape hesitantly wrapped his right arm around her, still holding the shirt in his left hand.

"Do you want to get changed?" He asked quietly, massaging small circles around her elbow. She nodded her head wearily against him. He eased her off the bed and stood them both up, cradling her against him he walked toward the bathroom door. Severus placed Hermione back on her feet in the middle of the expansive bathroom. He stood back slowly, so he could catch her if she began to sway. Slowly she steadied herself on her feet and nodded to him, her eyes downcast.

"Thank you." She said quietly. He nodded.

"I'll be out here if you need anything…..if you need me." He looked at her once more before closing the door behind him.

Hermione splashed her face with water from the elaborate sink, taking deep breaths to steady herself. He knew. She had let him see. He knew. She would have to tell him now. Have to tell him about Lucius, about his threats. She began to tremble again and fresh tears threatened to fall from her eyes. Angrily she shut off the faucet. She was not a little girl, she did not cry. Yet, she had spent a significant amount of time sobbing in her professor's arms. Severus's arms. They had certainly crossed enough boundaries to at least be on a first name basis. He knew all her secrets, he had held her while she cried and she was spending the night in his rooms. Yes, they were indeed on a first name basis. Hermione stared at the dress shirt he had left on the bathroom counter. She momentarily debated which article of clothing it would best benefit. She settled on an oversized hoodie that came to her mid thigh, fiddling with the ties around the hood before deciding that the large hoodie and her gray boyshort panties were enough for tonight. The sweatshirt hid everything anyway. It wasn't like Severus was going to be looking regardless. With her attire settled she headed for the toilet, deciding that relieving herself wasn't a bad plan. She barked out an exhausted laugh when she noticed the small stain on her underwear. _Of course. _She quickly scourgified the stain. Hermione felt fresh tears threaten once more and this time she let them fall. She wrapped toilet paper around her finger and swirled her wand, transfiguring it into a tampon. She washed her hands and took a deep breath before opening the door to the bedroom.

Severus had heard the startling noise and had been holding his breath ever since. He eased himself off the edge of the bed when she entered. He smiled at her gently.

"I'll just get a few things then I'll be out of your way." He made to move past her to the bathroom but her small hand on his arm stopped him. He looked at her questioningly. She raised pained eyes to his.

"Can you….I mean…..I know you shouldn't but….." Tears were cascading down her cheeks again and she had begun to shake. She was hurting and he was scared. She had been strong and had hidden her fears and pain for so long. But now he knew and she couldn't hold it in any longer. Snape wrapped his arms around her and lifted her onto the bed, wrapping the covers around her. When he moved to see her face she clung to him fiercely, her whole body trembling against his. He eased himself down next to her, keeping his arms around her. She melted into his frame, her head resting on his shoulder, her arms around his waist, their chests and legs pressed against each other. When her breathing finally calmed enough he heard her whisper.

"Please, Severus…..stay."

Snape nodded and pulled her closer. His rational mind screamed out at how inappropriate the situation was, how wrong it was. His mind reasoned that Dumbledore would understand of course, but what if this was not really what Hermione wanted? What if he misunderstood her? But every particle of his being knew to the core that this was what she wanted. This was what she, what they both needed. So he pulled the covers around them and held her as she fell asleep in his arms. Tomorrow they would talk. Tomorrow she would tell him about Lucius. Tomorrow he would tell Dumbledore what had transpired. Tomorrow he would deal with the Dark Lord, Harry Potter, potions class and all else. Tonight he would hold her.


	12. Hermione, Snape and Melding

Hi guys! So sorry it's taken me ages to get this up! I promise there will be far less time between updates now! As always, I love your input and guidance! Please suggest plot lines! I have a vague idea of where I want this story to go, and this chapter is a beginning of that. I hope you enjoy it!

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><p>Hermione woke in stages, her mind clearing slowly. She was warm and her bones felt heavy and relaxed. As she blinked her eyes beneath heavy lashes she caught view of Severus. She still lay tucked in his embrace, curled into him with his arm around her back and his nose to her forehead. His breathing was deep and the taught muscles of his face relaxed enough to illustrate high cheekbones and arched brows. Hermione's breasts pressed against his chest and she could feel the deep rhythm of his breathing. Against her belly she could feel the warmth of his morning hard-on. Hermione waited for the panic to set in. The panic that should reasonably follow a large-scale emotional breakdown, proceeded by an invasion of traumatic personal memories by a teacher whose bed, and arms Hermione was now comfortably enveloped by. Yet the panic never came. The warmth in Hermione's belly only grew as her cheeks flushed and she realized what an intimate view of Snape's world he had granted her. He had graciously guided her through the harshness and oddities of adolescence and was prepared in full to help her fight the upcoming war that was rising along their horizon, even when it meant his own immense discomfort. Hermione smiled gently at the sleeping man, careful not to move and disturb the little relief he was allowed. Slowly Hermione reached her left hand out to move the strand of black hair that had fallen over his cheek. As she tucked the strand behind his ear she was met with a puzzled pair of sleepy onyx eyes. Moving her hand back to his bicep, she swallowed slightly, unsure of the decorum for these situations. Throwing any concept of social grace to the recesses of her mind, she reminded herself that this was Severus, and that she was safe. What remained was to reassure him of the same.<p>

"You're awake." She voiced gently.

"So it would seem." His voice was husky with sleep and the lingering emotion of the previous evening. His hand on Hermione's back tensed, but he did not remove it.

"Were you able to sleep?" He asked, his eyes not leaving hers.

"Yes. Better than I have in a long time." He nodded slightly at this. His eyes still looked panicky, but he was not fleeing. She met his eyes for another moment before lowering her head to his chest.

"Thank you. For this." The hand on her back relaxed and he began to rub small circles with his thumb below her shoulder blades. After a shuddering breath he rested his chin atop her head. While his rational mind screamed all the improprieties of the situation, every other fiber of his being reminded him of how perfectly she fit in his arms, and an even smaller voice reminded him that he very rarely experienced erections, even in the morning. And the raging hard-on he was experiencing seemed to have a great deal more to do with the beautiful witch in his embrace than he was at all comfortable with. At this thought, he resolved to speak with Dumbledore immediately. Snape cleared his throat.

"There is only an hour before breakfast. I believe your dorm mates will be missing your presence." At this he could feel Hermione tense beside him. As she moved to extricate herself from his embrace, he held her gently in place.

"Hermione. There are things we must discuss." She nodded her head against him.

"I must go back on my promise. To ensure your safety I must make Professor Dumbledore aware of Lucius's actions. I….I am very sorry for severing your trust." He ended softly. Hermione pulled out of his arms enough to look into his pained eyes.

"You are in no way severing my trust Severus. If anything you are earning it yet again. I understand. It's alright. I'm sorry to have put you in this position." Severus merely nodded. The words, _I'm Not _running through his mind unvoiced.

"Just….please don't let Lucius…..hurt you. Please" She pleased in a whisper. Snape stared at her for a moment, baffled at her concern for him. What had he done to merit the trust and concern of this brilliant witch? Surely a lecture or two on menstruation and sex does not qualify one for such a pedestal in Hermione's eyes or a station in her heart. Against all his better judgment, he kissed her forehead gently, prompting her to sigh against his chest. _You're going to hell, Snape. She's a student! _His mind berated him. Finally realizing the true nature of his arousal pressed between them, he shifted slightly, not wanting to unnerve or embarrass her in any way further. Hermione's slight arm pulled him back towards her as he attempted to shift away from her to hide his erection.

"Hermione….it's….I…" He mumbled, cheeks flaring.

"Morning. It's morning, Severus. It's normal. If I remember correctly you were the one who taught me that." Severus cleared his throat.

"I'm saying it's okay." Snape nodded and cleared his throat. Still remarkably uncomfortable with his rebelling anatomy, but he made no move to get away from her.

"I apologize regardless." He voiced deeply. Hermione smirked into his chest.

"You're laughing at me?" Snape tried not to be offended. Hermione pulled her head back quickly to meet his eyes. In them he saw no mocking or condescension.

"No! I'm just…. remembering is all."

"And pray tell what are you remembering?"

"The moments you saw me through that you could have simply left me to struggle through. I've put you in a fair few uncomfortable situations. I know you don't like to be thanked, but I think it is owed regardless. Particularly for this. I'm not laughing at you. I'm just grateful." She held his eyes to ensure he knew the true depth of her sincerity, then lowered her head back to his chest. Snape's thumbs began to rub circles on her back once more, silently thanking her. Somehow, over the course of uncomfortable conversations, sharing of personal memories and mutual care, Hermione had managed to become his friend. At this moment he was hard pressed not to call her his best friend.

"I have charms in an hour." She mumbled against him.

"I didn't think I'd see the day Hermione Granger didn't jump for joy at the idea of academics." He teased. She smirked into his chest again, and then quieted, moving closer to him. Snape felt the change in her, and wrapped his arms tighter, her leg sliding between his. She was as close as physics would allow, and yet only wanted to be closer.

"I will always love classes….and books. But they don't seem particularly useful right now. I don't think The Dark Lord is going to care much that I can write four feet on the usefulness of gillyweed. And when Lucius…" She dwindled off in a watery voice. Snape pulled her even tighter against him, not caring how uncomfortable certain regions of his anatomy were becoming.

"I am here." He didn't trust his voice to say much else. _I will keep you safe. I will not let them hurt you. _But reality told him that they already had, and he felt whatever was left of his heart, break for the young woman in his arms. She nodded against his chest. Snape was sure he had imagined it, but it felt like for just a moment, she had placed her lips upon his shirt, right over his heart.

"I should get ready for class. We're about to miss breakfast." Slowly she began to move from his arms. They both sat up, not quite ready to leave the presence of each other and the warm bed that Snape could never recall having been this comfortable before. Hermione knew as soon as she left this bed, Severus would put the walls up again, much like she would. While distance was the last thing she wanted from this man, she knew it was how they both coped. If you didn't get too attached in the first place, then you didn't miss people when they left. Drawing a shuddering breath, Hermione rose and found her school robes neatly folded upon a wing chair across the room. She paused for a moment, unsure of how she should return to Gryffindor tower.

"You may shower and change here if you wish. I will floo Dumbledore and provide your head of house with an excuse as to your whereabouts." Hermione smiled at him.

"Thank you. Again." She let her eyes linger on him for a moment before she proceeded to the bathroom, halting at the door.

"Don't you need to shower as well? I'm alright going back to my tower, I don't want to monopolize your morning….more than I already have."

"I have no classes this morning. I will shower after you. Breakfast ends in twenty minutes." Hermione nodded and closed the door behind her. Snape ran his hands over his face and through his hair. Standing, he walked to the fireplace with a slight stiffness, his southern anatomy still in a state of awareness. Green flashed before him and the headmaster's figure appeared.

"Severus! I thought you would be at breakfast." The old man greeted cheerily. At Snape's slight wince, the headmaster quickly sobered.

"Something amiss dear boy? Has Tom called you away?"

"No Sir. I must speak with you as swiftly as possible. And I must ask a favor of you."

"Anything my boy." Snape swallowed thickly.

"Please inform Minerva that Hermione Granger was assisting me in a potions projects last night that required her absence from her dormitory." Dumbledore's eyes questioned Snape.

"I will do as you've asked. Come through as soon as Miss Granger has left for class, Severus. It would seem we have some things to discuss." Severus did not question how Dumbledore knew she was still in his quarters.

"Thank you Headmaster."

The shower had turned off and Hermione emerged moments later, smelling of lavender and pine. Snape turned towards her.

"Your house will still be at breakfast. You may use my floo to enter Gryffindor tower. Call for a house elf, they will retrieve breakfast for you." Hermione stepped towards the fireplace.

"Yes Sir. Thank you."

"Miss Granger?" Hermione turned back to him.

"Yes Sir?"

"This evening, my classroom, half an hour after curfew. Your occlumency lessons have not concluded." Hermione smiled faintly.

"Yes Sir." With that, she returned to Gryffindor tower with a twirl of green flame.

Snape showered quickly, threw on robes and proceeded to the Headmaster's office. He chose to walk as opposed to floo, to allow himself the time to gather his thoughts. As he reached the gargoyles, he uttered the password and stepped inside the ornate office. Dumbledore sat at his desk regarding Severus, as if he had known instinctively when the younger man would arrive. Snape met his eyes and immediately strode towards the desk. He stopped at the edge of the carpet and cast his eyes downwards, but not before Dumbledore was able to glimpse the fear, anguish and care dancing within them.

"Sir I believe you shall have to fire me. I am sorry to have forced your hand. However, before I leave there is information that I must share with you so that you….may keep her safe." _You must keep her safe. _Was barely held back.

"Slow down, Severus and take a seat. I know you prefer to stand or pace, but I believe this conversation to be lengthier than our usual interactions and I am concerned for your health and my vertigo when I watch you pace. Good. Now, why is it that I must fire you?" He asked gently.

"Miss Granger spent the evening in my quarters…. In my bed." Dumbledore's eyebrows raised slightly.

"I see. And you were intimate with her?" Snape's head reared up.

"Of course not!" He thundered.

"Then why am I to fire you?"

"Because a student spent the night in my bed! With me! I was with her! No, not _with _her. She was distraught. We were both exhausted. She needed comfort and I….I wanted to give it. She asked me to stay. So I stayed. You must fire me! Surely you see that! I am a danger to the reputation of this school! I am a danger to Miss Granger!"

"And pray tell, why exactly are you a danger to Miss Granger, Severus?"

Severus's face had gone deathly pale and his fists clenched, he raised his eyes to meet Dumbledore's who watched him with great empathy. The young man who usually exuded confidence or at least what was a reasonable assimilation was now stumbling over his words.

"Because….I think….I think I love her."

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><p>Please review and give me chapter suggestions!<p> 


	13. Snape, Dumbledore and Discussions

Hey guys! Thanks so much for the reviews. This one may be a bit of a shocker. I hope you guys like it, and if not, let me know! As always, I love your suggestions! Thanks! Enjoy! No Hermione in this chapter, and not a lot of description. Primarily dialogue.

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><p>Dumbledore gazed at the man before him, the man so clearly struggling with his heart. Slowly he leaned backward in his chair, and tried to restrain his twinkling.<p>

"And why may I ask is love now a danger?" Snape snorted at this question.

"Don't be a fool, Albus."

"Humor an old man, Severus."

"Humor you?" There was a bite in Snape's voice.

"And place more of my life upon the floor in front of you for dissection!" He rose from his chair and began to pace the room.

"I am not asking for your secrets Severus. I am simply curious as to the nature behind your current thoughts." Dumbledore steepled his long fingers.

The fire behind Snape's anger dulled slightly as he fell into the deep armchair once more before the Headmaster.

"She is a student. It is forbidden. It needn't have a nature of thought." His voice was graveled.

"It is forbidden if the Head of this school deems it so." Snape's head reared again.

"You would leer power over me once more?!"

"You are the one who determines what is forbidden Severus." Snape scoffed.

"You would leave your Gryffindor's fate to be decided by a death eater? By the greasy bat of the dungeons?" His venom was greeted with a heavy pause. Dumbledore sought Severus's eyes and met them with great pity.

"You truly think yourself so unworthy of love?" Severus could not hold Dumbledore's eyes as his head fell into his hands before him.

"It seems to me that a death eater would have no notion for love. And would certainly not have let a young woman from his bed without a considerable amount of distaste. A….greasy dungeon bat would have denied Miss Granger the comfort she so clearly was in need of. Yet you did neither. I think it may well be time you redefined yourself Severus." Dumbledore looked at the man he considered a son and fought the pangs of guilt that seared through him. While parts of Severus Snape were still a mystery to him, he was well aware of the damage he had done to the younger man. What was before Severus now was a chance at happiness within a rapidly spiraling world, all he needed now was a little push. The lightbulb went off and the twinkle reappeared, making Snape wary.

"I am concerned for Miss Granger. I believe that there is indeed more to the young woman, perhaps even greater value placed upon her head than we had anticipated. I need you to keep her safe, Severus. To be blunt, she is the brains behind the operation. Without her, Harry stands very little chance against the Dark Lord. We _all _stand very little chance against the Dark Lord sans Miss Granger."

"I shall continue to train her in occlumency." Severus responded.

"I'm afraid she needs more than that. Comprehensive defense against the Dark Arts."

"Then you shall have to teach her."

"I'm afraid I cannot. She trusts you, Severus. I daresay she even loves you. You will be the one she fights for, even moreso than Potter, even more than her world. She will fight for you, Severus. You must be the one to teach her." The words unspoken echoed throughout the room. _And you will be the one to fight for her. _

"Yet in order to keep her as safe as possible, The Dark Lord must not know of our true efforts. She is Harry Potter's closest friend. Plant the seed, Severus. In his mind, the Dark Lord will wish you to seduce her. To learn Harry's secrets for the Dark. You may tell him I wanted her to be tutored by the best soldier. That to ensure her safety I wanted her bound to you in the most powerful way possible. I trust you Severus. With this. With her. You shall have to share quarters in order to be most effective. You shall have to share confidences. Do you understand what I am asking? The vow you must make?"

"Have you gone mad?! You wish….you wish me to marry her?!" Snape was reeling. All he wanted to do was say yes. Yes to having her with him, yes to teaching her, yes to being with her all hours of the day, yes to binding them together for eternity. But his rational mind screamed that it was improper, that it was unsafe, that he would hurt her. And a small part wondered if she would hurt him.

"Are you aware of—" Severus trailed off, his hand gestures dying in mid-air. Dumbledore smiled.

"Yes as a matter of fact I am. I believe I was the one who strolled the castle grounds with you and explained the concept to a befuddled fifteen year old."

"I am no longer a befuddled fifteen year old." Snape retorted.

"No. And neither is Miss Granger. We will have her full consent before moving forward. She is a woman Severus, and an incredibly bright witch at that."

"I am aware." Dumbledore smiled at this admission.

"What of the other practicalities? Wizarding marriages have many. What is your grand solution to those?"

"Those are for you and Miss Granger to discuss with one another. You are both crafty individuals who are more than able to evade the Ministry if that is what you desire. However, simply be aware that you bond will suffer the greater the ruse. I see no need to evade the practicalities Severus, but I do leave that up to you and Hermione."

"She's only seventeen!"

"A legal adult in this world."

"Age does not an adult make!"

"No, but I think we both agree that Miss Granger has been dealt more than a child's hand and will deal back equally." Dumbledore's eyes softened as he gazed upon the man struggling before him.

"Tell me Severus, what truly ails you?"

"Talk to me." He pleaded gently. Severus finally raised his eyes to meet the older man's. His dark eyes glimmered with all things fear, hope, love, shame, guilt, anxiety and confusion.

"I cannot be the one who robs her of her future. I can join the death eater ranks in many way. But I cannot be the one who lays claim to something not given. A wizarding marriage is eternal. I wil not rob her of her life." Dumbledore sat forward.

"Yet don't you see? You are the one who has given it back to her. Now live it with her." Severus looked up once more. Dumbledore's eyes now held no mischievous glitter, simply a tired and sincere wisdom that shone deeply.

"How do you wish to discuss it with Miss Granger?"

"Tonight. I am scheduled to teach her occlumency. I will…discuss it with her then."

"I leave you to it then. You know where to find me should the need arise. Oh, and Severus? You may need a ring." With that Severus stood and bowed slightly to the headmaster, taking his leave in a swirl of conflicted robes.

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><p>Let me know what you think!<p> 


	14. Choices

Sorry it's been so long, y'all! Life has been crazy. Hopefully I'll be back to updating about once a week now. As always please tell me what you think!

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><p>Severus Snape pushed through his classes with venom and icy glares. In the moments between the end of classes and his meeting with Hermione he skipped dinner in the Great Hall, finding his stomach oddly unsettled. He utilized the time to alternate staring deeply into whatever inanimate object happened to be in front of him, and pacing rapidly across his classroom. The space between his ribs fluttered slightly with a cocktail of dread and nervous anticipation. He refused to imagine Hermione agreeing to the barmy plan proposed. She would see reason and he would be rejected. They would return to the teacher-student relationship they had never truly known, but that would be more appropriate. His jaw clenched. Resolved to get something productive done, he forced himself to pen red ink over the third-year essays. At exactly half-passed curfew Hermione tip-toed into the classroom, eyes slightly downcast. Severus's chest warmed and his ribcage rattled. Clearing his throat he called the girls attention. He stood from his desk and lunged himself around the room.<p>

"I find I am in need of some fresh air. A walk?" He queried. Hermione smiled gently, her anxiety eased at the sound of his voice.

" A walk indeed." Snape regarded her with dark eyes, then turned on his heels and held the door for her to exit. His usual pace required a jog for Hermione to keep up with, but sensing that the man she had come to know was far away in the depths of his mind, she made no protest. They strode up the winding stairs to the astronomy tower. Once at the top Severus strode to the railing, leaving Hermione to seat herself on the wooden benches that lined the tower.

"Miss…Hermione…there has been a development that we need to discuss." Snape spoke in graveled tones.

"Alright." Hermione stated, slightly wary but still calm in the presence of the trustworthy Severus. Snape turned toward the young woman his heart ached for. He searched for the words.

"I…that is Professor Dumbledore….has devised a plan to keep you safe. Safer than we are able to keep you presently." Severus stumbled through his first explanation. Hermione nodded, not wishing to interrupt his thoughts. Snape cleared his throat before continuing.

"You see Hermione this plan…it…it requires you and I…the Headmaster believes that….Holy Merlin!" Severus growled deep in his throat in frustration. Hermione stood swiftly and strode to him. She didn't quite touch him, but hovered close enough to his body that her intent of comfort was clear. Snape met her eyes somewhat helplessly and gestured with his hands. What was he so afraid of? He already knew her answer would have to be no. He would lose her, lose their close relationship, but that would have happened anyway with time and circumstance. This was just ripping the bandaid. But his words were failing him. A thought struck, that terrified Severus while simultaneously providing a solution to his loss of adjectives. He spoke once more.

"Hermione I must ask something of you. That is, I must ask even more of you."

"Anything, Sev- Professor. You must know that." Was her swift and honest reply. Snape nodded and his lips turned upward slightly despite the situation.

"This idea, you must understand it first before you make your decision. You must not allow _anyone _to bully you into a choice that is not theirs to make." Hermione nodded, tracking his tone.

"You will speak the incantation that will give you access to my memories…to my mind. I will show you a conversation with Dumbledore. And then, when you have seen it, I will provide you with the context….if you are agreeable. If not, we will find another way." He added softly.

"I am agreeable Sir, but I fear it is invading your privacy. I know we haven't had the strictest of boundaries of late, but the last thing I would ever want to do is to… to invade such a profoundly personal place." Severus met her eyes.

"You have my consent Hermione….you have my trust." The words were quiet against the wind whipping through the tower, but they reached Hermione and warmed her against the chill. Hermione reached for Snape's hands and wrapped her smaller ones around his as much as she could. She was grounding them. A thousand scenarios played through her mind requiring her to force them aside and focus on the task at hand. She would find out soon enough what the man before her was so distraught over. Meeting her eyes, he nodded and squeezed her hands. Hermione muttered the incantation, and slipped into Severus's mind, his defenses lowered for her. The scene in Dumbledore's office played out before her as she watched through Severus's eyes. He had altered the memory slightly, to leave out the mentions of his love for her. The rest he did not censure, knowing she would still have questions but that she would be able to infer most of the subtext. When the memory had run its course she eased out of his mind with none of the blind panic or anger he had suspected. Instead he found himself standing in the present once more, her hands still enclosed in his. She was not pulling away. She was not running or screaming or telling him to get the hell away from her. She was staring deep into his eyes. Finally she voiced her thoughts.

"You would do that? You would marry me? You would give up your life, your privacy to keep me safe?" Snape was thrown. She should have been screaming no by now. All he could do was answer.

"Yes." Hermione's eyes welled slightly and she moved one hand to brush a tear that Severus's thumb reached before she did.

"Hermione please do not allow a sense of guilt to dictate this decision. This is your life. It is not simply a conversation. You would have to share very…truly intimate things with me. I promise you I will find a way to protect you that does not rob you of your life. Of your happiness. I promise." The tears rolled freely down her cheeks as he spoke. Finally she turned her eyes to his once more.

"You could never and would never be robbing me of my life. I…I daresay you are my life now. I will always help Harry. And I will stand by him through this war. I will stand with Harry and Ron and we will fight. But _you _are my life. I have shared…far more with you than is appropriate. I will fight for my world and our way of life, for our freedom. But underneath that, it is you that I will be fighting for. I…I would never ask of you what the Headmaster has. For you to give up your privacy….to have your life so drastically altered. By me. Though you would not be robbing me of my life….I could not rob you of yours." Severus's heart hammered against his ribcage. She was saying yes. She was worried about _him. _She may not love him, but she was dangerously close. She cared. This beautiful, brilliant young woman cared for him. Snape allowed himself to indulge in a small moment of sheer awe, before he backpedalled. He had to be sure she knew what was in store. He had to protect her. Even if it was protecting her from him.

"Hermione. There are certain…practicalities…laws in a wizarding marriage that are enforced by the Ministry. Dumbledore is correct, we could evade certain…ceremonies with simulation potions and the like, however those ceremonies serve to strengthen the bond of protection provided by marriage. It would be your choice."

"Our choice." Hermione interjected. Snape furrowed his brow, confused by her statement.

"Our marriage. Our choice. Together." She clarified.

"I will not have a medieval marriage wherein one party rules. We will be equals. That is….if we are to be married." Snape nodded, continually amazed.

"You mentioned certain practicalities. Ceremonies that would strengthen the union. Give the Light the best chance against the Dark Lord. If you don't mind, I'd like to know them." Snape nodded and cleared his throat, happy to have some occupation other than gaping in awe. He still held Hermione's hands in his own as he walked them over to the stone bench that lined the edges of the astronomy tower.

"The engagement ceremony is essentially muggle. The marriage ceremony is performed by two parties, one male and one female, who are known to the couple. Often times they are mentors or family members. The ceremony is witnessed by a third party not performing the magic. The vows are written by the couple and an additional vow of binding is spoken by one of the performers of the ceremony. After the couple speaks their vows, they are bound to each other by ancient wizarding magic that calls upon their fundamental roots and ties them to one another. It is my understanding that although the ceremony seems like a lot of theatrics, it is in fact an important ritual. After the ceremony the reception can be much like any muggle marriage reception. The wedding…night is similar to muggle fashion with a Ministry twist. To procure a wizarding marriage that is recognized by the community the couple must…consummate the marriage. The Ministry places traces upon the couple as part of the wedding ritual. There are ways to evade this of course, potions to simulate the…action without actual physicality. However, the magical part of the wizarding marriage, the fundamental protection deal is left unsealed until the marriage is truly consummated and all ties are bound. Hermione, it is a practicality but you do not need to make this choice now." Hermione nodded, taking in all the information with a slight flush to her cheeks. She turned to Snape.

"Severus, what of the Dark Lord? Won't he have an opinion on a potential union?"

"So long as the Dark Lord feels that it was his scheme, and that it serves his purposes more than it serves the Light. You are Harry Potter's best friend and almost sole confidant. A union between you and I wherein the Dark Lord believes that I have…seduced you…would give him the false impression that he had an edge over the Headmaster."

"If we were to marry, would you be safer? Safer from him?"

"This is your choice. I will not manipulate it."

"Severus please answer me." Snape exhaled deeply.

"Yes. I would be favorable in the Dark Lord's eyes." Hermione smiled slightly, silently thanking him for his honesty. She scooted closer to him, placing her hand on his knee. He met her eyes.

"Then I think there may be a question you need to ask me." Severus questioned her eyes.

"You're sure? Your life will change drastically, Hermione. Please. I promise to protect you regardless."

"Then let me do this. Let me protect you. Let me fight for you…..let me marry you." Snape met her eyes and found clear honesty. She wanted to stand by him. She wanted to stand with him. This beautiful woman seemed ready to face far worse than the firing squad to protect him. Severus moved away from Hermione, he stood and then dropped before her onto one knee. For a moment Hermione looked confused and an acute flash of rejection ran across her face. Then comprehension and surprise appeared. Severus swallowed the intense fear that threatened to suffocate him, and attached himself firmly to her eyes. Taking a small silver band off of his right hand, he then grasped both her hands in his.

"Hermione Granger, will you marry me?" Hermione swallowed the tears of excitement and anxiety.

"Yes. Yes I will." Snape allowed his lips to curl upward slightly in a gentle smile. He gently slid the rather make-shift ring onto her left hand, and with wandless magic managed to shrink the ring to fit her finger snuggly. Hermione smiled a watery smile. Severus smiled back.

"Then it would seem we have some plans to make."

"Yes, so it would." Hermione agreed. She summoned paper and a quill. Nerves still thrumming, she set to writing on the stone bench as Severus resumed his seat next to her. Severus watched in awe as Hermione took in all the changes that would affect her life, then quietly began making a list of all the things they needed to do. She spoke softly as she did so.

"Do you mind if I defer to you on the marriage ceremony? I will do some reading tonight, but I'm afraid I do not know what is required."

"Of course."

As Hermione wrote, Severus read the list and mentally added his own tasks. Their combined lists read:

_Marriage ceremony arrangements_

_Reception_

_Guest List_

_Vows_

_Apothecary_

_Wedding clothes?_

_Harry and Ron…_

_Plant seed in Dark Lord's mind to allow the plan to move forward_

_Living arrangements_

"I will be traveling to Diagon Alley tomorrow afternoon. I need to settle a few matters at Gringotts and pick up a few things. Can I make a trip to the apothecary for you?" Snape offered.

"It's alright. It can wait. Thank you, though." Hermione evaded.

"Are you certain?" He was met with momentary silence.

"I was just…remembering that I don't react well to contraceptive potions. I know we have not decided yet, or even truly spoken of it, but just in case I wanted to be sure that we had something on hand should we….should it become a possibility." Hermione stumbled. Snape cleared his throat.

"Yes of course…. I had thought of all the practicalities. But not the practicalities of the practicalities. It is your choice Hermione. I will not force myself on you."

"I know that, Severus. But I also think it needs to be a choice we make together. From what I understand, a wizarding marriage is eternal. I know our focus should be the war and the immediate future, but someday, I would love to have a career, children and a life that extends beyond fear and fighting. I haven't had the best experiences with….sex. But I don't want a life devoid of intimacy. Either way, it is not a discussion we need to have right this instant."

"Of course." Severus's heart hammered and his hands felt clammy. Sex. They were talking about a potential for sex. That thing he hadn't done in nearly two decades. The urges that he had suppressed for years because he lacked the disgusting appetite of his fellow Death Eaters and longed for something more that he could not have. Any thought of Hermione, or any of his students for that matter had not been entertained in the slightest when it came to acts of sex. They were his charges and he owed them his protection, not any form of sexual manipulation. However vile a man he may seem, he truly did wish to keep his students safe. But now that Hermione would become his wife, with apparent willingness he felt a stirring of desire, along with a surge of uncertainty. This was a complicated area for both parties. Both their experiences were limited and rather perfunctory. Severus would have to do some research. He wanted Hermione to know what it was to have more than just a one sided experience. He cleared his throat.

"I can pick up some…condoms while I'm out. Unless you would prefer to, in which case that is also fine." Hermione blushed and averted her eyes.

"Shall we flip a coin to decide who gets to blush in front of the chemist?" Severus smiled slightly at her quip.

"I shall go. Do you have a…preference for brand or….?" He let his question trail off. He knew there were many options for texture and even smell. Hermione turned scarlet. Snape occasionally bought condoms to have on hand for the elder members of his house. While he could not stop them from having sex, he could at least provide them with protective options. The infirmary also stocked contraceptives, but his Slytherins were much more likely to duck into his office and pull from the jar than to risk the wrath of Madame Pomfrey. Occasionally a red faced Slytherin would make his or her way to his office, usually in need of information or reassurance from a party with slightly more wisdom than the typical adolescent. While to many he seemed vicious, he was indeed an excellent Head of House.

"I don't know. Whatever you prefer is fine." Hermione's voice was slight. Snape nodded. He had never used a condom before. His single sexual encounter had utilized a contraceptive charm, and he mentally visualized the contraceptive aisle. There were a great many options to content with. It seemed more research was in store. Hermione took a calming breath. If they were to be married, there would be a great deal of intimacy far more personal than choosing a condom brand. Reminding herself of her trust in Severus, she began to re-order her list. She scooted closer to Snape, so that he could read her scribbling. They sat in casual intimacy as they discussed the tasks to come, both mundane and exciting. However fresh the idea of a wedding may be, the fact that their union was both a product and a ploy of war was not far from either of their minds. While their care may be mutual and a relationship with the potential for exploration before them, they still had a job to do.

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><p>You know you want to tell me what you think!<p> 


	15. Snape, Hermione and Pre-Marital Talks

**So sorry for the delay. Here we are. Please review. **

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><p>Hermione tied the long braid behind her head and stopped briefly to gauge the look in the mirror. A nervous smile grazed her lips. She had a meeting with Severus in ten minutes to continue occlumency training and to discuss the wedding. They had decided on a small ceremony of close friends, with Dumbledore and Molly Weasley officiating. The wedding would be held on the Castle grounds beneath an old arbor that had stood for centuries. Hermione sighed as she thought of Harry and Ron, who were still processing the rather shocking news of her marriage to Snape. While there had been no immediate dismissal of her engagement, they were both very wary of the whole deal and had avoided her with downcast looks and Quidditch excuses. She understood their unease at her predicament, but it did not stop the dull ache for someone to talk to about the massive upcoming transition. She was getting married. To Severus Snape.<p>

Down in the dungeon Severus paced in long strides at the head of his classroom. Until this point the wedding preparations had been for the most part fairly mundane and not too unbearable. He and Hermione had similar tastes when it came to social gatherings and the desire for something small and uncomplicated had been attractive to them both. Hermione didn't trouble him with silly details; she simple handled them herself and consulted him when she felt it was necessary. Their occlumency lessons had continued a few days after his proposal, and while she had given him the all clear to continue, Snape had felt the anxiety rolling off her as she re-lived her encounter with Lucius. He had knelt in front of her that day and placed a hand between her shoulder blades as she worked to slow her breathing. She had raised a hand to where his shoulder met his neck and nodded her thanks as she pressed her forehead against his. He had asked her to join him for tea later the same day, to reassure himself that she was coping. They had launched into a quiet discussion of the epic poets that left them both with a pleasant hum behind their eyes as they departed for their separate chambers.

Severus awarded Hermione a small smile as she knocked once before letting herself into his office. Though they were companionable and had indeed shared a bed for a short period of time, a slight air of apprehension still guarded them both. They each had baggage, some of it considerable in weight. Hermione smiled back at Severus and made to sit on the small leather loveseat.

"Pleasant day?" She inquired.

'Tolerable." But the small quirk of his mouth told her that his adjectives and his feelings were not necessarily in line. She needn't be concerned about his day. It was only a small incline of his head that alerted Hermione to the oncoming subtle invasion of her mind. She placed walls, false memories and diversions up as she felt him shuffle through them. What seemed like a brief experience ended up taking the majority of an hour and by the end of her lesson she was somewhat drained, though he had carefully avoided pushing her too hard. As Severus ordered tea, she sat down across from him and settled in for the discussion to come. While they had covered many of the more trivial details, there were clear issues they needed to address in order to alleviate the apprehension.

"So." Hermione began.

"So." He reiterated back at her. She huffed slightly, appreciating his flirting but finding it difficult in the moment. Her discomfort began rolling off her. Severus adjusted his demeanor and silently vowed to read her better in the future.

"You have things you wish to discuss?" He swirled his tea.

"Well. Yes. I suppose I do. At least I think we should both wish to discuss them. They are of…importance." He looked up at her word choice. Blushing slightly, Hermione continued,

"The ceremony is planned. I will move into your quarters after the reception, though I do not wish for much fanfare, if that's alright." Severus nodded. He knew that though she was being tremendously mature, this transition was indeed difficult and occasionally awkward for her. He had his own concerns of…importance to add to the discussion.

"We will have the weekend to…adjust. I have arranged with Professor Dumbledore to test out of Potions. He will administer the test in three weeks, giving me time to study. This way no one can say you are awarding me special treatment…not that you would." Severus's eyebrows quirked, but he let the issue pass, silently nodding his head.

"Let me know if I can be of use to you as you prepare for the exam."

"Thank you." Her eyes softened and she paused for a moment before collecting steam.

"Professor I…" She was momentarily interrupted by his gravelly tones.

"Severus. Call me Severus. If we're to be married, I think perhaps you should call me by my Christian name." She smiled in response and nodded politely. His name felt like a great liberty even though she had used it in prior circumstances.

"I am certain that this is the good and the right thing to do to help the Light. Yet I feel there are practicalities we haven't considered. We know how we will respond when we are met with criticism. We know how you will make the Dark Lord believe his scheme has been realized. But what of… other arrangements?" Severus quirked an eyebrow, his pulse thrumming with apprehension. Uncharted waters lay before them.

"What of our schedules? What of… sleeping arrangements? And household chores? I'm not comfortable with the elves doing my laundry. Will we take meals here or in the Great Hall? Will you inform me before you are called to the Dark Lord? What of Harry and Ron? What of finances? I'm sure there are a great many more things to consider." She blew out a breath as she came to the end of her lengthy rant. Severus marveled again at the young woman about to become his wife. Was her mind ever idle? His ribcage warmed, as he knew the answer. He stood from his chair and moved to perch himself on the desk, closer to her.

"I cannot promise that I hold the answers to all of your questions, but I will endeavor to answer as many as I can. I teach three classes on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and four on Tuesday and Thursday. I will spend some hours grading and arranging the classroom after these classes, but will break for lunch in the middle. I am available to students in the evenings, and as a head of house I am available at all hours in the event of an emergency. Perhaps we shall create a schedule wherein we eat alternate nights in the Great Hall and others in my… our chambers? I do not wish to keep you from your normal trajectory here, but I also wish to share your mind and be updated on Mr. Potter from time to time. At the weeks end I set aside time to read and attend to business I over looked during the week. As for sleeping arrangements, I will defer to you. I have never shared a bed before but I am not completely…adverse to the idea. I have somewhat erratic sleeping patterns and would not wish to disturb your rest. That said, I would like to be close at hand if there were to be an emergency. Though this marriage is intended to keep you safer than you are currently, it does have the added threat of putting you that much closer to a mechanism of the Dark Lord. I think perhaps the sleeping arrangements can be flexible until we find what works best. I have led a life of necessary solitude and as such I am capable and willing when it comes to household chores. I would ask that you not move my papers if you are feeling an inclination toward cleaning, apart from that you are welcome to clean however and whenever you wish, though I certainly do not expect you to. I do not wish for a housewife Hermione, nor do I think you wish to be one. You will continue with your education, that being your first priority. I am able and happy to provide financially. If you feel a need to contribute, we can discuss it. We will cross the bridges as they come. I vow to be honest and to attempt to be accommodating. It is my wish that we communicate when there is a grievance. I do not enjoy the idea of a passive aggressive marriage. Though I know this is not ideal for you, I vow to be a fair and faithful partner to you. And if we happen to make it out of this thrice-damned war, I know you have wishes for a family and I am willing to pursue those with you. If you still wish to…. Attempt children that is." Severus kept his gaze level with the bookshelf behind Hermione. She was once again reminded of the true man she was marrying. He was brilliant and dangerous, but also kind and intuitive. She would meet him halfway and make this marriage as pleasant as possible for him.

"Thank you, Severus. I know this is not…easy." Snape nodded and cleared his throat. He too, had things to say.

"I know this is not the most… comfortable of topics, however it is necessary that we have options as we move forward. We had discussed some of the practicalities of a wizarding marriage and now we must revisit them. The Consummation Law is somewhat avoidable, though I know we had discussed the potential for… consummation. There is a simulation potion that can be brewed, though it is somewhat time and…ingredient intensive. It will not entirely complete the bond that is increased by a…physical union. But it is a reasonable alternative, should you desire one." He paused to breathe and assess her reaction. She was flushed and not making eye contact, but did not seem too terrified. Inwardly, she wondered if he did not find her attractive. She was his former student after all, and he was an honorable man and would never have thought of a student in any inappropriate fashion. She resolved to settle the issue later, hoping her concerns were invalid and he was simply being tactful. Severus kept on while his courage and tact still remained.

"Hermione, I will not have you forced into a situation wherein you feel you lack…choices. Brewing the potion will not rule out the possibility of… a physical union. It will simply give you options." She met his eyes and smiled slightly. The awkward air that hung between them dissipated as she stood. Keeping her eyes locked with his she moved to stand between his legs as he leaned against his desk. He watched, startled by her behavior, but unmoving. Slowly reaching to his side, not sure if he would withdraw, she grasped his much larger hand in hers and brought it forward, to still between them. Snape's breathing quickened, though he kept his steely composure. Hermione was silently receiving the answer to her fears regarding his attraction to her. He had not pulled away, and that was a good indicator.

"I appreciate your…delicate handling of this, Severus. Thank you." She then smirked slightly and continued,

"The irony in this is somewhat amusing. I remember multiple teary conversations on… similar matters. You were enormously patient in explaining a world I had neglected to research. Somehow it seems fitting….." She dwindled and did not continue, her mind and heart not in agreement over the unspoken statement.

"I do not wish for a marriage devoid of intimacy or affection, but perhaps this potion may be useful in buying us more time to… know each other. As I think we both know, it is no small thing to do." Snape's eyes had not left hers, reading her starts and stops, the sentiment within the words. He nodded, as he had so many times that day.

"Tell me about the potion process, if you don't mind." Hermione inquired, hoping it would ease him if he were on solid ground once more. Severus cleared his throat.

"It is a seven day process, though not labor intensive after the first day. Simple ingredients, however requiring… some additional… products." Severus colored. How was it that they could not get through a single conversation without some awkward element? Was their marriage doomed to be a series uncomfortable dialogues? Hermione quirked an eyebrow in silent question. Severus took a deep breath and continued.

"In order for the simulation potion to be viable, it must contain certain…bodily fluids present during copulation." Hermione blinked. Oh.

"Menstrual blood may substitute for virginal blood. It must be coupled with… semen in order to produce an effective potion." Hermione was turning scarlet for a great many reasons. Not only would Snape be handling her very personal bodily fluids, but he would be… providing his own. The idea sent warmth radiating up from her knees and she struggled to fight the fierce blush overcoming her. Snape was a man, a celibate man at that, of course he would have some experience… handling himself. But in all her musings about their potential physical union, she had not thought about Snape _masturbating. _Suddenly she was filled with an intense curiosity. In the meanwhile, Snape had begun to feel unnerved at her silence and called her name quietly,

"Hermione?" He intoned. She startled out of her reverie, and, caught off guard she asked what she had been wondering, to her great embarrassment.

"How often do you….?" She immediately turned an even deeper shade of red and averted her eyes. Severus did not grasp her question.

"Pardon?" He clarified. Then it hit him. She was wondering about the semen collection. How frequently he… Oh. His future wife was curious about his personal habits. His tongue felt thick in his mouth. An all-pervasive embarrassment swept over him. His sexuality had never been a particularly happy or rewarding part of his life and as such he usually avoided mention of it. Yet they were to be married, were they not? They were set to share a great many intimacies in the weeks to come. He took a deep breath and favored honesty over tact.

"I… it depends on the severity of the… issue. Showers also aid in the… alleviation. I do not really keep track of the… frequency. Though it has been more of late." His tone was strained. She nodded, sorry she had put him through the embarrassment of it, but also excited with the new information she had gleaned.

"Do you….?" The question came as a surprise to them both. Severus inwardly cursed himself. He had no right to her life yet, let alone to an incredibly personal portion of her life. He felt compelled to offer her honesty in her curiosities, but she was by no means obligated to offer him the same. She shocked him with her candid, albeit shy answer.

"It's difficult with roommates. Sometimes in the shower, though it's not always the most… rewarding. I'm beginning to think the fireworks people speak of are a bit of an exaggeration." She bit off the last sentence and then immediately regretted her omission. She had just told Severus Snape that she had never had a great orgasm. Or perhaps any orgasm. Holy Merlin. Severus stood for a moment and absorbed the new information. For once, his own lack of experience did not put him at odds with another. In this, as in many other things, they were equals. An intangible force came over him and he gently pulled the blushing Hermione closer to him until she melted into his chest. He placed his chin atop her hair, allowing himself to enjoy the feel of her breathing in unison with him. Finally his deep voice rumbled through his chest toward her ear.

"I will endeavor to bring you pleasure… if I am able. On your terms and your timeline." Every inch of Hermione was alight.

"Likewise." She murmured into his chest. The couple thrown together by happenstance and necessity stood holding each for a long while, each marveling at how their lives would alter in just one week.

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><p><strong>Thoughts?<strong>


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